Page 12 of Golden Ruin

There’s a softness to Tiff’s voice that keeps this from feeling like I’m being scolded. If anything, she sounds hurt. Like she can’t believe she had to find out about the fire the same way the rest of the world did.

Through the news, social media.

I push a hand through my hair, listening for movement inside Lexi’s room as her mom helps her change. This phone call was inevitable, but I didn’t expect it to come right as Lex is getting discharged.

“Are you still there?”

I turn away from the closed door, pacing in front of the nurses’ station.

“Yeah, I’m here. Just had a long night.”

“I can’t even imagine,” she sighs. “I keep thinking about what it must have been like for you, getting that call.”

Without question, that was the worst moment of my life.

“They’re saying they’re still investigating the cause of the fire,” she says, and I nod.

“Yeah, getting that part sorted will probably take a while. But I’m sure we can both count on Pandora to spread the word.”

My voice is dripping with sarcasm, because I hate that shit. Hate that I now think of Tiffany in the same breath as that bitch.

“I wouldn’t know what she’s posting. I signed out and deleted the app,” she says.

While I’d like to think this came about as an act of self-reflection, my guess is it has more to do with self-preservation, distancing herself from Pandora for the sake of protecting her brand. That’s my best guess, seeing as how that’s been her main focus lately.

“But Jax is okay?”

“A bit traumatized, but he’s fine otherwise.”

“Good,” she breathes. “That’s all that matters.”

That’s all that matters.

There’s a loaded pause, and those words echo in my head. Of course not because I disagree that Jax’s wellbeing is important, but because him being okay isn’t actually all that matters.

But I’m not shocked. We’ve been on this call for more than five minutes, and she hasn’t mentioned Lexi’s name once. I get that they basically hate each other, but the omission feels cold, calculated.

The thought crosses my mind that now would probably be the best time to tell her about the arrangements Lex and I agreed to last night, but I can’t seem to force the words out. In no dimension is there a version of this conversation that goes well. Tiff would never understand why I extended the offer, but that’s because she isn’t a parent. She’s never had to put anyone’s needs before her own. Not like this. And that’s all this is.

Lexi and I coming together to do what’s best for our son.

There’s this moment of realization, this moment where I accept that I’m not going to bring it up. Not right now, anyway. I’m already stressed to the max. Hence the reason I’ve avoided telling her I’m even at the hospital right now. Knowing that one detail would only feed into her belief that there’s more between me and Lexi. This woman reads into every-fucking-thing, and me staying the night at the hospital would definitely send her over the edge.

With the night I’ve had, I’m not even close to being in the mood for that shit. And now that I think about it, thank God she’s off Pandora. That’s probably the only reason she isn’t in tears right now, ripping me a new asshole.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Shit.”

I quickly mute the line when an announcement over the PA system almost gives me away, holding off answering Tiff’s question until the speaker goes silent again.

“No, but thanks,” I sigh, glancing toward Lexi’s door again. “Everyone’s just still really shaken up.”

Another opportunity for her to ask if Lex is okay comes and goes.

“I almost bought a ticket this morning and came home. If you need me there, just say the word.”

Hearing this should have a different effect on me than it does. I should feel supported, prioritized. But instead, all I can think about is the real reason she didn’t hop on a plane headed for Cypress Pointe.