Page 135

‘I didn’t know you were coming.’

‘I’m trying to be a better brother. I visited Ettie and the baby, and then drove all the way down here to see Xav. The things I do for this family.’

‘How is Ettie?’

‘She’s great. And baby Nora Hillary Pamela Green is extremely cute.’

‘Very strategic of Ettie to get both of the names in there.’

‘Mum was happy because hers is first,’ he says, and I laugh.

‘So,’ he continues, ‘what’s with the vibes I saw on stage between you and Xav today?’

‘Just two professionals discussing their work.’

‘Okay, sure. Take it easy on my little brother, okay? Because I don’t think it’s a professional relationship for him.’

His words send a buzzing nervous thrill through me.

‘Where is he?’

‘Out the back.’

The music is loud and the little bar is completely packed, shoulder to shoulder. Authors and publishers and volunteers and various people from the town are here, and a bunch of Hillary’s friends and hangers-on.

I see the back of Xavier’s head then, sitting near Kat and Jamila and Darius. I try to read Jamila and Darius’ body language. Is the sex getting better or not?

Darius picks up Jamila’s hand and kisses it quickly, and she turns to him and smiles. It’s getting better, I decide. Or, they’re definitely enjoying practising.

Xavier turns and sees me, and waves across the crowd.

I wave back.

He stands up and makes his way over to me. He touches my arm.

‘Hey,’ I say.

‘Hey,’ he says.

‘Want to go for a walk?’ I say.

He nods, and we weave our way out of the bar and onto the street. It’s freezing and I pull my coat back on.

I feel suddenly nervous. The noise from the bar is muted, and it’s dark and quiet.

‘It was so loud in there, I thought it would be easier to talk out here. Where do you want to go?’ I ask. ‘We could just walk around, or go back to our…uh…my place, or…’ I am practically shaking with nerves.

‘Let’s go to the beach,’ Xavier says.

We walk next to each other in silence. I sneak a look at him, and he looks back at me. I let my hand brush against his, once, twice, a hopeful little message in a bottle, and then he takes my hand, entwining his fingers with mine, and we hold hands all the way down to the beach.

It’s a cold night, but it’s still and the sky is clear and crisp, full of stars. Even the ocean is calm and still. Like it was the first time we came here.

We sit down in the sand, hands still entwined, bodies side by side. I am tucked into his shoulder and I look up at him.

I don’t know where to start. ‘Xavier,’ I say.

‘Let me go first,’ he says. ‘Because I think I screwed things up between us and I want to apologise.’