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‘No, I’m the one who wrecked everything,’ I say. ‘But you go first.’

‘The conversation, that night, after we were together. I knew you were freaking out, and you were right—us being together is much more complicated for you—and I just…I didn’t get it. I didn’t listen, I didn’t understand. I’m sorry.’

‘Well, I completely overreacted. I panicked. And it felt like, I mean, I wasn’t sure how you felt, how serious you were about us. I was scared.’

‘I was in a bit of denial, to be honest,’ Xavier says. ‘And when I came back to get Rex, and I was driving away for the last time, I felt like I was losing my mind. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t stand it. You didn’t want us to be together, and, well, I kind of couldn’t believe it. I lay on James’s couch for weeks. I was a mess. I’ve never been a mess like that before.’

‘You were in pretty rough shape about Lana when I first met you.’

‘That was different. I’d been out drinking with James the night before. I was punishing myself about Lana. I felt bad that I didn’t really feel bad, that everyone was going to be so disappointed in me, that I still couldn’t write—all of that. With you, it was different.’

‘How was it different?’ I say.

‘I had never felt like that before. I was wrecked. And I swore to myself that I wouldn’t come back for you again, as much as I wanted to, that I couldn’t go through this feeling again, so when you came and asked me to be in the session, I said no, but then…I realised I had to come back, one more time. I had to try again.’

He presses a hand to his chest, and then looks at me, and takes a deep breath, smiling, but I can see that he’s nervous. ‘What I felt for you then, what I felt when we ended things, what I feel for you now. I just…Charlotte, I am so in love with you,’ he says.

His words catch in my throat, in my chest.

‘I want you to know that my book is for you. My heart is for you. I love you, I just love you so much,’ he says, speaking quickly, as if he can’t stop the words pouring out. ‘And I don’t know how you feel about me, then or now, and I don’t expect—’

‘Stop,’ I say, pressing my fingers against his mouth, very gently. ‘Stop. I love you too. I have for a long time. Why do you think I was freaking out? Because I knew I was in love with you. I tried to get over you and I couldn’t. Because I don’t want to get over you. I want to be with you. More than I want anything else.’

It sounds so corny and I don’t care. I have never loved anyone like I love him right now.

He gently pushes me back down onto the sand and kisses me softly. He kisses me like we kissed that first time on the beach.

I touch his hair, his face.

‘I missed you so much,’ he whispers, nuzzling against my face.

I kiss him, and I feel his body pressed to mine, warm and protective against the cold air of the night. His arms wrap me up, and he kisses me, deeply now, fiercely, possessively, and then he kisses down my neck, murmuring something I can’t quite hear.

‘What did you say?’ I ask.

‘Tell me you love me again,’ he says.

‘I love you,’ I say, gripping him closer to me, smiling. ‘I love you so much, Xavier.’

He gives a little groan of pleasure against my skin as I say it.

‘Keep going,’ he says. ‘Never stop.’

I keep whispering how much I love him as he kisses me. Our bodies are tangled together, and it feels so good, so right—my need for him is so all-consuming that it takes me a moment to notice that the moonlight has gone, covered by a grey cloud, and it is raining lightly.

Xavier sits up, and a rush of cold air hits me as our bodies separate.

‘Come on,’ he says, taking my hand and pulling me up.

‘Where are we going?’

‘Your house. I want you to be warm and comfortable for all the things I’m about to do to you.’

‘What are you going to do?’ I say as I snuggle myself against him. He smells exactly how I remember. I want him so badly, every single part of my body feels like it’s audibly thrumming with desire. Thrumming with feelings, all the feelings I can finally let myself have.

‘You’ll see,’ he says, grinning.

We run home through the soft rain, holding hands, and I can’t stop smiling, even though I’m cold and hungry and tired after working nonstop all day. I don’t care about any of that, all those needs and discomforts melt away because he’s here, he’s here, he’s here with me, and I have missed him so much, and I have wanted him back for so long.