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I knew all about my boss Mr. Brownston and heard stories around South Central and other parts of Los Angeles about the infamous Debo. He was a street rich nigga and anybody that spoke of him, had fear in their voices from the things he had done. I kept things respectful all the time and referred to him as Mr. Brownston, because when it came to him taking care of business, he was nothing but respectful and professional. I didn’t see the side that everyone talked about around the way. Staring into his cold, stone eyes I could tell that the nigga had a dark side.

It was only a matter of time before I would have to ask for his help when it came to Praylah. I wasn’t going to run away from her or fear for my life just because Jarei was trying to place her on lock down. In a couple of days, Ju’well and my mom along with her baby, deuce deuce, and I would pay Praylah a visit and see just how tough Jarei would act face-to-face. Jarei wasn’t shit but a fucking coward.

I went ahead and called Debo to let him know that I had to call off. I was sure he would have his assistant Alesia reach out to a manager from one of his other restaurants to have them step in for me. Mr. Brownston was serious about his identity not being exposed. He loved to see how his restaurants were running without people faking and acting like they were doing their job just because he came around.

“What’s up Era?” His deep voice came through the line and I could tell that something was bothering him.

“Hey, Mr-” I started but was cut off abruptly.

“You like family now since you best friends with my girl. So, call me Debo, never call me Matthew, that’s for Praylah.” He sounded so serious that I had to stifle my laugh so he wouldn’t feel disrespected. In his mind, Praylah was his and I couldn’t be mad at a determined man.

“Okay, Debo.” I smiled and then continued. “I need someone to cover me, I have a meeting with a potential new manager for my music career. I just don’t want to miss this opportunity.”

“I feel you and I hope it works out for you… Drag that nigga to the fuckin’ back!” my eyes got big as I checked my surroundings. I could hear Debo’s background and it sounded really busy. His voice got deep and dark, shit, he sounded scary.

“My bad Era, look I’m in the middle of some business shit, call Pray and tell her to cover you. I notice she been missing too many days anyway.” I swallowed hard because I never reported that. He chuckled like he knew that I was shocked by him revealing that.

“Trust, Era… I know everything when it comes down to my business. You good though, I respect your loyalty to your friend. Make sure you tell her to get her ass to work or I’m firing her pretty ass. Family and girlfriends don’t exclude me from terminating someone from my payroll.” He stated seriously and I shook my head because I hated to deliver the bad news. I had been trying my hardest to make sure she kept her job but with the way Jarei sounded it seemed as if that was done for.

“Debo, I called her and Jarei answered. He is so ignorant, and I don’t think he is allowing her to work anymore given the circumstances.” The line went quiet, even his background. I could hear his deep breaths come through on the phone which indicated that he was still on the call with me.

“So, you haven’t heard from her at all?” He quizzed in a worried tone.

“No, I haven’t.” I sighed, feeling defeated.

“Bet. I’ll call my assistant and have her send someone in your place tomorrow. I’ll pay Praylah a visit.” I smiled at that.

“Thanks, Debo.”

“Say less.” He hung up and I started gathering my things feeling happy that my best friend had someone like Debo to look after her.

Chapter Seventeen

PRAYLAH

My brain felt so heavy with overwhelming thoughts that whenever I tried to sit up to get out of bed, my head pounded hard. I couldn’t think straight to save my life, but I was happy that Heaven wasn’t here with me to witness me this way. Jr. was here though and at this point, I didn’t have the strength to really tend to him. He laid next to me and rubbed his tiny hands through my hair, I found that to be soothing and comforting.

Nyla dropped baby Jarei off this morning, and I woke up to him in bed with me. The icing on the cake and what really drained the color from my once vibrant apricot skin tone was that Nyla got evicted and was now living under the same roof as me and Jarei. Jarei treated Nyla like she was delicate. He didn’t yell or call her names. He almost acted as if he was scared of her. The both of them came in and out as they pleased, leaving me here to tend to the house but lately, I haven’t even been doing that.

It’s been two weeks, and I could count the number of days that I attempted to do anything worthwhile. When Heaven was here, I took my medicine and smiled at all the insults that were being hurled my way just to keep the peace. It was a big relief when my mom and dad came up to get Heaven. Whenever Heaven went away, I was able to slip into my heavy depression in peace and not feel so guilty about the dangerous thoughts I had inside my mind.

When Matthew stood in front of Jarei, I could feel the anger radiating off of him onto me. I had to check myself when I had thoughts of telling Matthew to actually kill him when Jarei walked in on me and Matthew getting ready to have sex. With Matthew, I felt a comfort that I never felt in a man before. I felt secure and safe, like I could trust him with my life. The main thing that scared me was how attached we seemed to be in such a short period of time.

Now here I was feeling back low and so weak that I was disgusted with my own existence. I had been low before, but this was a different type of low. I felt like a prisoner of all my negative thoughts and feelings. I was so indecisive and couldn’t seem to sort my shit out. That in itself was very frustrating. Going on a rollercoaster feeling like I had advanced a little bit but got set back majorly and ended up landing back to square one. In this hell hole of a house with people that didn’t give two fucks about me. What made it worse was that I barely cared about myself.

I was praying for my sanity, but I felt myself losing my grip. I couldn’t stop thinking about Matthew and after I turned him away the way that I did trying to defend Jarei, I knew that he wouldn’t come around. I didn’t even want to show my face to him and see the look of disappointment. I appreciated him trying to help me but that scared me too. I never had anyone outside of my parents, Era, and Ju’well do something nice for me without wanting something in return. That was just my sad truth.

“Girl, that's why he treats you like that. Get yo’ ass in the shower and do ya hair or something.” I sat up a little from my tear-stained pillow and looked over at the door at Nyla. She looked beautiful like a model, and I wished I could be her size and look like her just to see how it felt to be treated good; to be waited on and to have whatever I practically wanted. I hated how my thinking process worked. How much I doubted myself then I’d turn around on good days and have all the confidence in the world. How ironic, half the time I didn’t want to be me. I lacked so much as a woman and wanted to desperately do better so my daughter wouldn’t eventually catch on and think this shit was cool.

“I don’t want him to touch me.” I mumbled and decided to sit all the way up in bed and ignore the pounding on the left side of my head.

“Then why the fuck you here Pray?” She leaned against the door just as Jr. planted a kiss on my cheek making me smile lazily at him. He got off the bed and went right up to his mom. No matter how distant Nyla was with her son, he loved and adored his mother just how Heaven was with me.

“I did it for Jarei’s safety, I didn’t want him getting killed and leaving our kids without a dad. I do love Jarei. I'm just not in love with him anymore and I can’t sort out why I’m so weak and still here.” I shrugged, not even caring how embarrassing my truth sounded.

“You hear cause if you leave me again bitch, I’m taking Heaven. You’re not fit to keep her on your own. You and I both know that shit.” Jarei spat standing so close behind Nyla that his dick was touching her ass. I knew they were fucking right under my nose, but I didn’t give a damn about that either.

“Why though Jarei?” I stood off the bed as Nyla and Jarei both looked at me with utter disgust. “I’m fat, funky, all I’m good for is cooking from time to time and watching the kids. Why not let me be? At least I’m a good mother to our daughter and your son? You cheat on me all the time, I only cheated once and that was because I never got treated the way Matthew…”Before I could finish Jarei was across the room standing right in front of me.