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He grabbed me up by the throat and squeezed so tight I thought he might snap my neck. Dragging me to the bathroom he pushed me onto the toilet seat. Starting the bath water, he ran hot water, I watched trying to see if he was going to add cold water, but he never did. I started tapping my left leg, growing nervous. I didn’t know what he was getting ready to do and fear ran all through my bones. He snatched up a bottle of my bath and body works soap and squeezed almost the whole bottle into the tub.

“Laying around here crying and worrying about the next nigga in my house. Bitch got me fucked up!” He mumbled all kinds of things under his breath as hot tears fell down my face.

“Just let me go live with my parents or Era. Let me just be the nothing-ass bitch that I truly am Jarei. I promise to take care of Heaven but being here with you is killing me!” I yelled frustrated with myself and Jarei.

“Well then die bitch!” He gritted, staring at me with hate.

“I won’t die as long as my daughter is alive. She is my reason.” I argued.

“Well, then bitch get comfortable cause you ain’t going nowhere! You my bitch! You think cause my homie Debo mental ass took a liking to you that you gone run off and be happy with that nigga? Like I’ma actually let you go be with him and have more money than me when bitch I been grinding to feed and pay bills for you and Heaven!”

“I pay bills Jarei! You never-”

Whap!

I felt dazed as he closed fist hit me. I felt myself hitting the tiled floor until he grabbed me by my matted down fro and tossed me in the scorching hot tub like I weighed nothing. The water burnt me so bad that it felt like I passed out momentarily. The tub overflowed as he pushed my head under. Nose burning, water filling me up, I couldn’t breathe, and I panicked. He brought my head up and I choked and threw up trying to catch my breath as I clutched onto his forearm for dear life.

“Ja… reiiii pleaseeee!” I choked and begged. “I'll do better please!” I cried but accepted my fate and welcomed it. I said a silent prayer for my daughter hoping that she would forgive me. Maybe this was meant to be. Looking in Jarei’s eyes I knew that it was a wrap for me. He pushed my head back under and I didn’t even attempt to breathe or struggle against him anymore.

“What the fuck nigga, is you insane!” I heard Nyla and the next thing I knew I felt like I was floating on water watching Nyla swing and hit on Jarei to save me. I wished she didn’t do that, but I guess I should be grateful.

“Mind your business, Nyla! This between me and my bitch!” Jarei yelled. My body felt numb, and I couldn’t move but I saw the steam rising from my body and water.

“Nigga I’m not fenna let you just kill her! No matter what you say she does do a lot for us!” She turned the hot running water off and carefully stepped closer to reach toward the cold-water knob and turn it on. I couldn’t feel shit because my body was blazing and numb if that made any sense.

Nyla looked into my eyes and dropped tears of her own. I was all cried out, if I made it out of this, I would never come back to Jarei. I just needed my phone to get away. Jarei didn’t know that him trying to kill me and me almost accepting that fate was a reality check to myself.

“Jarei get out before I call my brothers and have them fuck you up.” Nyla threatened. Surprisingly he listened and walked away looking at me like he was disgusted and pissed that he couldn’t do what he was really trying to do.

“Come on girl, let me help you.” Nyla gathered all her long weave up and rolled it around until it was balled up into a bun on top of her head. My body felt like it was scald and burnt all over. Looking down at my skin it was the color red. My body trembled and I think I was in so much shock and pain that my cry was trapped into my throat. Holding Nyla’s hand as I stepped out, trying my hardest to steady my steps so I wouldn’t fall on the wet floor, I heard the front door slam.

“I didn’t do anything Nyla. All I did was love him. It’s hard for me to control when I slip into a bipolar episode or get depressed but I have been good to him through it all.” My tears were finally falling but I couldn’t feel them.

“That’s no excuse and you gotta stand up for yourself. You got the right to talk and say how you feel as an adult. Don’t ever let a nigga take that from you. Not even me. I apologize to you as well I just didn’t like you cause it felt like you took my man from me when in reality I never had no business fooling with Jarei’s broke ass.” She looked off then wiped at her tears before they fell and ruined her makeup.

“I’m moving to Atlanta with my parents until I get on my feet. It’s some balling ass niggas up there that will sweep me off my feet with my son. I ain’t looking back cause Jarei don’t give a damn about these kids. You should do the same. Love don’t pay the fucking bills Praylah.” We walked into the room that Jarei and I shared. I sat on the bed while she moved around the room freely like she was well acquainted with where everything was. She brought me some sweats and a top with some mango Shea butter.

“Rub that all over so your body won’t scab from that hot ass water.” I did as she instructed.

“Jarei just mad cause he doesn’t understand why a paid nigga like Debo wants you. Shit, I ain’t understand it either.” She chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“I was just being jealous. I need a nigga like Debo, shit would have me set for life. Girl, you need to get Heaven and disappear, go with Debo, Jarei not gon’ do shit to you if you with him trust. That nigga Debo got his bitch ass spooked like my brothers got him spooked.”

“I don’t want nothing from Matthew, I just want to work on myself for Heaven.” Nyla smacked her lips.

“That’s cool and all, see women like you is what niggas pray for Praylah. You’re humble and pretty, very smart and you not a selfish bitch like me. Listen to me and listen clear baby girl… if you stay here, that nigga Jarei gon’ end up killing you. He ain’t happy with himself, he still a struggling ass hustler tryna figure some shit out. He gon’ project all that shit on you. Hell, my momma bipolar and she get depressed too. It’s all about who you around with your mental shit. Being around Jarei just gon’ make the shit worse. Hurry up and get dressed so you can leave while you got the chance girl. I’m only helping you this one time, baby momma number two.” She smirked and I tried to smile back but my face felt tight from the hot water.

I stood up and put on my clothes not caring to put deodorant on or fix my hair. I felt like time was ticking and I did want to be gone by the time Jarei came back.

Getting me and Heaven’s social security cards and all my important information together and stuffing it in my purse, I headed for the front door passing Nyla up. Nyla had her feet kicked up on the coffee table smoking a blunt.

“Thank you Ny.” I looked at her, still surprised that she saved me.

“You welcome girl, now gone.” She winked at me. My hand shook as I reached for the doorknob thinking that I was going to run into Jarei. I didn’t have a phone or any money and didn’t know how I would make it to my parents’ house or even Era’s but like Nyla stated, I needed to get away.

As soon as I opened the door, it felt like I ran into a tall tree that smelled good.

“You ready to come home?” My eyes traveled up to Matthew’s gray eyes that were set dead on me. He stood so tall and looked so fine that my mouth watered at the sight of him. This man was really like my guardian angel. A calm came over me and I felt all the anxiety leave my body as I slowly nodded my head. He looked me over like he was inspecting me, and I didn’t care, I just wanted him to take me far away from here.