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“Era this is Queen, she’s like a big sister to me. Queen, you met Era at my birthday dinner.”

“Noted, nice to formally meet you… Era.” She smiled quickly then focused on her nachos.

I rubbed my hands together as Sovereign made eye contact with me. Speaking an unspoken language with her eyes. She had questions but probably wouldn’t ask them until she and I were alone. I told everyone to sit around the coffee table so they could hear all that I had to say. Sovereign and Roberto were always busy, so I didn’t burden them right away with everything especially concerning Jocelyn. Luv was nosey so she knew a lot more than what I wanted her to know. She was basically happy that I was leaving Jocelyn, both the girls were happy with our new house and Jocelyn not being around.

Chapter Twenty-Five

SOULFUL HURTZ

“Have her abort it. You don’t even know the chick.”

Sovereign, Roberto and sat around the coffee table discussing my entire situation. Era stated that she didn’t feel too good and needed to lay down, so I had Luv and Passion show her to my room and to get her some fluids just in case she threw up. My sisters were actually pumped about Era being pregnant. Sovereign stayed quiet the entire time and just listened to me talk and Era weighed in.

“She’s pretty; got a good head on her shoulders and I can tell she’s not after the money. I just don’t think it’s the best for both of you guys. Considering the situation and the media wrapped up into both of you. As for Jocelyn, I can send my men to the house and have her thrown in Hades. Inferno has been wanting to burn shit up lately, that can be an early birthday gift for my man.” She smirked looking at her witch shaped nails that were painted red, her husband’s favorite color. The tips of her nails even had small orange flames traveling down.

Sovereign was just as crazy as her husband. They were a match made from hell, but they really were good people, and why I considered them family.

“I like top shelf booty. I see some sort of chemistry for the two of you. Society thinks it’s wrong to move on so fast when you just got out of a relationship, but I say…. Fuck society for that! I say… Go for what your mind tells you backed up by di heart.” Roberto smiled and lit up a Cuban cigar.

“Say’s the man who married a husband and a wife.” Sovereign rolled her eyes.

“Yes, you hear me say, fuck society. Who made all these morals and principles. People care too much about what others will think. I go and do what I want, no one’s thoughts or opinions can stop me.” Roberto stuck his nose up and smoothed his hair back.

“Era music career is starting to take off, you’re in the media and got a lot of endorsements. Right now, they are talking about your divorce. It’s bad enough they make assumptions about you having connections to Berto and his cartel in Mexico. You don’t need too much attention Soulful. So, tell me, what is it that you want to do. What exactly are your plans?” Sovereign sat forward and put me right in the hot seat. She never wasted much time getting to the bottom of any solution to a problem.

“I want her to keep the baby, I want to get to know her as well. She’s different, and I’ve been drawn to her since my birthday. I don’t know, it sounds crazy but that’s what I want.” I cringed inside waiting for Sovereign to scold me but instead she just giggled smoothly and shook her head.

“I don’t know who stresses me more. My kids, you… or Berto’s silly ass. You never answered my reference to Jocelyn? What are we doing about her?” Sovereign’s eyes gleamed with hunger. I wouldn’t dare suggest her letting Inferno burn my ex-wife alive. I still had love for her despite her disloyalty.

“Let her be Queen.” I stated, sternly to make it clear that she wasn’t to mess with Jocelyn.

“Chillleeee, ju become football player and get soft overnight. I say chop that pussy off first since that’s what she betrayed ju with.” Roberto was always down for a kill as well. He was way more gruesome than Sovereign.

“Let her be, I still have love for her, and I will make sure she continues to be okay as long as she listens to what I told her. Just let her be for now.”

“Whatever.” They both said at the same time as Sovereign looked at her watch.

“I have to get going, let the girls know I will bring the kids by Friday for them to babysit until Sunday.” She stood up and I got up to walk her to the door. Her car and security were already waiting for her outside of my home. She turned toward me and gave me one of her famous speeches.

“I love you Teddy, proud of the man you have become. Your type of loyalty is commendable, some don’t even deserve it. I’m rocking hard with you until my heart stops beating. Just make the best decisions and guard your heart a little better.” I nodded my head and gave her a hug. When she pulled away and turned towards the steps my heart started pounding.

Feeling overwhelmed with a lot of emotions, my past and present started to rush me until I found myself standing outside of my door calling Sovereign’s name.

“Sovereign?” She stopped walking down the steps and turned towards me.

“You know… my sisters, you and Berto plus this football shit is all I got. Y’all the only good things that has kept me going. I’m a man and we often don’t get to express ourselves without society viewing us niggas as feminine or bitch made. Jocelyn almost was my breaking point again. Felt like she took a hammer and shattered a niggas heart and soul like my momma did when she overdosed. I guess I was always holding on to hope with that lady thinking even if me, Luv and Passion would get older she would someday get clean and make us completely happy. Then she…she.” I couldn’t get the words out as my heart felt like it was splitting into two again. I never really got to express my feelings on my mom passing.

I just went about shit normally and tended to those around me. I put everything and everyone else first except my own feelings. My throat had a painful lump forming that was hard to swallow down. Sovereign embraced me right on the top step and I let out a cry that sounded like a Lion roaring out in pain from losing his pride. I remembered the third time my momma had got my hopes all high and shit promising me sobriety.

Eyeing my sisters warily, I got out of bed stomping my feet at the roaches that scattered upon realizing that there was movement. I woke up every morning at five am like my mind had a built-in alarm clock. Every day that I woke up, I felt more tired than before but had to keep pushing. Money had to be made and I had two mouths to feed. I stretched out the aches that I felt from sleeping in a small ass twin bed and yawned. I weighed about three hundred in some solid change. The bed I slept in was old from when I was five years old. I looked over at the bunk bed that my sisters were on and smiled a little bit. They were constant reminders of why I went so hard.

After showering and handling the rest of my hygiene, I sluggishly made my way to our small roach-infested kitchen. I stopped in the living room and looked down at my mom on the couch with disgust. She had to get her ass up and fuckin’ bounce before my sisters saw her and started crying and shouting. I hated her so much for what she put us all through but still loved her at the same time. Instead of starting the pancakes and bacon for my sisters, I decided to wake my mom and kick her out first. I knew with me cooking breakfast, the smell alone would wake my sisters up. I didn’t want them starting their day off emotionally and still having to go to school.

I had to hustle hard and make moves, school and daycare for the girls was a life saver. It let me move around how I needed to during the day before turning it in early to take care of my siblings.

“Antionette.” I shook her frail arm as I eyed her with disgust. “Antionette, get up man!” I raised my voice trying to sound strong and cold but what nigga wanted to see his mom strung out on crack? This shit a different type of pain and I wished my momma was strong and not weak when it came to getting on this shit. My father died when I was two, she met my sister’s dad and shit started to spiral out of control. At the time I was eight and knew a change had come over my mom. She used to spoil me hard and tell me daily affirmations. When my sister’s dad came into the picture, she became head over heels and lost focus of being a mother. My sister Luv turned two, my mom was strung out and hoeing. She stopped caring that she even had kids and would leave us at home all day and night with no food or lights. By the time Luv turned three, she came home pregnant with Passion. She was so high off crack that when she delivered my second baby sister she laughed and told the nurses that she had a “Passion for crack.” Cps got involved and gave custody to Passion’s dad. That nigga was a stupid ass drug dealer that was constantly getting high on his own supply. I called him a functioning crack head. He didn’t look like he smoked that shit but behind closed doors he shamelessly hit his pipe.

He beat my momma ass constantly then threatened her to get clean so she could be a good mother and she complied and gained custody back over Luv and Passion and actually started doing what she was supposed to be doing. I was actually happy until a couple months later the nigga that Gerald owed re up money to, sent his goons to break down the door and capped his ass. At the time it was some traumatizing shit to see at a young age. Seeing blood and Gerald’s eyes still opened horrified the fuck out of me.