Page 63

Roberto had his overbearing ways but in my eyes he was a solid ass person. I walked into the room that he rested in and was shocked to see his wife and husband sitting on each side of him. Roberto’s wife wiped at the tears with heavy bags underneath her eyes as his husband puffed on a blunt super cool with his leg propped up on Roberto’s bed side. They saw me and both smiled weakly.

Roberto’s entire relationship shit had me confused. His wife was beautiful, her chocolate skin tone reminded me of Era’s. She was tall and thick with a flat stomach. She had to be a model because she looked very enchanting. His husband looked like a hood nigga, like he fucked with plenty of bitches. Shit always made me wonder what type of nigga was he. It wasn’t for me to understand, because I have never found myself attracted to a nigga.

“We were just getting ready to leave, he still hasn’t woke up. God, I miss him so much.” She sniffled and shook her head as she stood up and walked over to me to give me a hug. His husband stood and walked out, saying nothing to me. I didn’t give a damn because the nigga was weird. I was starting to think that he was just using Berto. That wasn’t for me to address because if he was, that would be his own grave that he would have to dig.

Roberto was a deadly ass nigga. He appeared soft and feminine but he was as cold as it got. He ran the cartel so smoothly and in order that his father never turned back around to see if he needed any assistance. Whenever we came to Mexico to visit, niggas practically looked like they were close to shitting themselves at the sight of Roberto.

“Excuse him, Zelle just seems to be taking things hard. I can’t seem to keep up and see what all he is thinking this past week.” She sadly looked off.

“You good, you don’t have to explain. I know its been hard on all of us. Hopefully he wakes up in the next couple of days.” She sighed and nodded her head an agreement. I looked over at Roberto and swore I saw his dumb ass smirking.

“Okay well, I’m going to have the driver take me over to my hotel.” We said our goodbyes and once the door was shut, I shook my head and walked over to Roberto’s bedside to take a seat. I didn’t say shit for the first ten minutes. I scrolled my phone and shot Era a text letting her know that I would be by her place to pick her up after I left from visiting Roberto.

So much has happened, I haven’t really had time to get up with her and make sure that she was good. Jocelyn was never at the house when I went by to check on her. I could only pray that she was doing the right thing. If she wasn’t getting the help that she needed to over come the drug habit then her ass would be right back in those projects.

“Alright man, the gig is up nigga. I know you alert.” I nudged Roberto as he opened his eyes all slow and dramatic. We stared at each other for a couple of seconds and started laughing.

“That doctor told ju didn’t she?” He rolled his eyes and pushed himself up to grab his bed remote to have the bed push him up. The higher the bed went his sheet slipped down showing the bandaging on his chest.

“I was so happy ju came when ju did for that. I think I’m going to have to kill my husband. I’ll give Luv and Passion his insurance moneys.” He smirked and I just looked at his crazy ass because I knew he was serious as fuck.

“I need to fake being sleep more often like this so I can find out who’s real and phony.” He frowned and for the first time, I saw a look of sadness cross his face.

“Talk to me bro, what’s bothering you?” Roberto looked off for a couple of seconds. I could see him trying to play shit cool. He cleared his throat and wiped at his face. I looked down at his pale hand and could see the wetness. Something he heard while he was pretending to be sleep bothered him.

“Being rich is a gift and a curse. Ju just never know who really loves you beyond the money. It took time for me to fall in love with my wife beyond her looks. She’s so fucking beautiful that when I first laid eyes on her, I knew that I had to have her. But… mi husband, I didn’t just fall in love with looks at first. We were friends, I confided in him and told him things that I should only tell family. The first thing he says to my wife when I’m close to dying, is do she think that our marriage is real.” He chuckled like he couldn’t believe it.

“He sat there and asked her if I died, did they have proper access to all the money I have. All he gave a fuck about was the millions. This whole time, I question my wife and her loyalty, I’m not a straight man, I love men and the beauty of women and how they feel as well. I even have my days were I want to somehow feel like a woman and get treated like one. I spend a lot of time showing masculinity running di cartel. So Zelle gives me something that I can’t get from my wife. Za’leah slapped his ass up and told him it wasn’t about the money and to get his shit together. Every visit, I listen closely, Za’leah only cries and pray over me. She comes at night to sleep next to me. Zelle doesn’t, he’s also been sleeping around.” He gave a look of disgust.

“Don’t you sleep around though?” From what I saw and heard he did.

“That’s not the point Soul. I don’t fuck anyone; I just like getting head a lot. I travel a lot. I like to be out here in Cali with my family. When I’m back in Mexico I have things to do. I’m honest with my wife and husband. I make sure I stay clean. They are only allowed to fool around with each other. No outsiders.” I sat confused and just continued to listen to Roberto’s problems.

I didn’t know how his kind of lifestyle worked but I wanted to be there for him like he always sat and listened to me.

“The money issue, I don’t like. Sound like that nigga got motives. That shit also makes me feel like you gone have to sleep with one eye open around that nigga. I don’t really know your wife but from the times I have been around her she seems genuine. As far as that cheating shit, you know how I feel about that. I made a mistake only once in my relationship. Yet Jah did it for years. I feel like you being on selfish shit but then again you not cause you up front and honest with both of them about what it is you do when you away from home. If you want my advice, I’d say confront that nigga after you have processed this shit fully. Make a decision and stick to it.”

“I’m going to kill him.” He looked at his hot pink nails and flicked imaginary dirt. “Less drama ju know? Something like erasing your bad decision-making at picking a partner.” I shook my head no.

“We kill, well I use to kill. That was the only answer I knew. I just don’t think it’s the only answer anymore Berto.”

“It’s the answer for me, anybody in Mexico knows that’s my final answer. It will always be my answer. That’s how I keep things even. Soulful, you guys get the good and funny Roberto. I love my family, I put you guys before anything. I have never felt so accepted and loved like this. I thank the creator for even giving someone as dark as me something so pure. One day we all have to answer to the things we have done. That’s why I’m in no rush to haunt down the man responsible for almost taking me out. I didn’t even try to fight death like a punk bitch because it's what comes with the life that I have picked out and love. When men like me fall in love or in high like, its detrimental to the ones who try to weaken us with moves like Zelle. I’ll mourn and miss him then find someone else that gave me the same feeling as him. Now enough of all of this sadness. Where are my nieces and how is my new friend Honor?” he smiled but it looked forced. I saw straight through that shit.

Roberto was the kind of person that wanted to show and prove that he was always fine but deep down it wasn’t always that.

“Honor is here, she’s progressing well. You know your brother took things in his hands and is not letting up with revenge on who did this. He lowkey holding her hostage while making sure she gets the proper care.” We both chuckled at that.

“He’s so desperate to get somebody in that Hades room, to burn them. I like Honor, I really vibe with her, so I’ll talk to him, I’ve been enjoying mi Hermano coming in here telling me how I better survive.” Roberto smiled and that made me laugh because it ain’t no telling how long he had been wide awoke listening to us pour out how we felt about him. We all were on pins and needles hoping he survived.

“I enjoyed getting head from that blue-eyed blonde head in there. She’s the sexiest doctor I have ever had. I have to plan to get weekly checkups from her and only her.” He winked at me.

“Yo ass is a real dog.” I pulled my phone out and saw that I had a message from Era.

“Roof! Roof! Where’s my collar for that?” I frowned at the text from Era saying she didn’t feel like fucking. She said that she just wanted to rest because she didn’t feel good. “Women.” I mumbled not really knowing what to say back to her text.

“What happened now?” Roberto looked at me anxiously, he loved being in somebody else business but maybe with Era, he could help me. I ain’t really know how to go about things with her. She was pregnant dealing with a lot of emotions. Very sensitive and I wanted to be mindful of that.

“Era just said some weird shit, I asked her could I come through. I wanted to catch up with her since I been over here a lot worried about you. She texts back saying she ain’t feel like fucking. Like on some accusing shit, I got good control over myself, I ain’t just tryna fuck on her.” I understood Era more then she probably thought I did.