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I was back being alone and my small apartment with nothing but loud thoughts roaming through my head. I knew I made the right decision and should be very proud of myself but it hurt like hell. Not only did I break up with the man I loved, he walked out with an opportunity that would be hard for me to come across again.

I sat on the couch in silence for a while until I heard knocking at my door again. Sighing hard preparing myself to tell Devin to go the fuck away, I opened the door and my mom was standing there all frowned up with her small baby gun in her hand. I smiled weakly and stepped to the side letting her in. Soon as she put her purse and gun down, I fell right into her arms and cried myself to sleep in her arms in my living room. This just couldn’t be life.

Chapter Five

PRAYLAH

I wanted to feel good because, after weeks of working hard and balancing being a mom of my own kid and Jarei’s son, I finally had some freedom. Heaven was at my parent’s house for the entire week, and I hadn’t heard from Nyla or Jarei. Speaking of Jarei, he came and went as he pleased, which was super confusing to me. It’s been two weeks since he has been home and the last time that I actually saw him he was grabbing lots of clothes saying how he had to make an important play out of town.

I was shocked that he even left me with a thousand dollars, which was a plus for me. I put that money to the side for when it came time to having to pay our bills. I wanted to ask him why he had to be gone for so long but I wouldn’t dare pry into his business and set him off on a rampage.

I needed the space from him mentally and to be able to get the rest that I needed. I didn’t get any breaks so whenever my parents called me asking for Heaven, I jumped on that immediately. Cooking and cleaning plus giving Heaven the attention and love she needed was very important to me.

Things back at the restaurant had picked up and I found myself working more doubles. I had two days off and today would be my first day back at work. I would be posing as manager since Era was going through a hard break up. I felt super bad for my best friend because she would literally give you the clothes off her back to make sure the people she loved were good.

I also admired her strength and her being able to walk away from a man not valuing her for the good woman that she was. Now all I had to do was find my own strength and get myself out of my own toxic situation. I dressed in some slacks and a white button-down shirt today, finding my bowtie and name tag, I put both on and headed straight for the bus stop with jitters filling my stomach.

For the past two weeks, the handsome intimidating man that I spilled a drink on had been coming by the restaurant ordering the same thing almost every time he came in. He also sat in the same spot and would often mumble things to himself. I caught him plenty of times watching me like he was studying for a test. Every now and then he’d scan and watch the rest of the restaurant like he was waiting for something to go wrong.

Maybe I was overthinking things or bugged out by our first encounter. He made me nervous, and I made it a point not to serve as his waiter. The wild look in his eyes whenever my eyes landed on him sent chills up and down my spine and heated my entire insides.

I used to think Jarei was intimidating and unhinged, one look at this stranger and its like he had trouble written in cursive all over his nice physic. An unfamiliar jolt of electricity went through me each time he offered me that crazed pensive stare. Nothing about him gave, nice or gentle and easy going. He was a beast and his unique dangerous look added to just that.

His build was massive, like a giant. Even his beard that was oiled and shiny looked tantalizing. He looked unapproachable, which was the main reason I had so many jitters the day he looked up and stared deep into my soul. I could no longer feel the glass that day as it slipped from my hand, I felt him, all of him staring deep into me. It was as if I could feel him, like he summoned my entire being.

I probably sounded crazy as hell right now, but it was hard to explain the kind of pull this man had on me from the very first encounter.

I made it to work thirty minutes early, since I was posing as manager I got right to work and didn’t waste any time. I always wanted to show and prove my work ethics because I needed this job desperately. I needed any and everything that I could get, I was saving to be able to buy me and Heaven a car. I wanted to find the same strength that Era had, I was living with a man that didn’t give a damn about me anymore.

I was holding on for the love that I still held for him, even the respect. I had lots of respect and maintained my loyalty for Jarei, regardless of all the foul things he has done to me in front of my face and behind my back. I wanted Heaven to have both of her parents just like I did when I grew up. My parents were the perfect representation of love and what it was supposed to look like.

Thinking about Jarei and our failed relationship took me to a dark place and made me feel super emotional. Feeling like I was wasting nothing but time from never giving up on him had me believing that I was nothing more but a weak bitch to him. The spark was long gone and what I needed to do was accept my reality.

I went to the back office that Era handled business at, in the back of the restaurant and gathered the strength and courage to call Jarei.

“Yea, Pray? Getting to the money right now.” He sounded agitated by me interrupting him, but he always sounded that way whenever I did reach out or talk to him in person.

“We need to talk tonight, it’s really important,” I spoke clearly so he could know that it was serious.

“We can speak over the phone; I didn’t plan on coming home tonight.” Rolling my eyes, I got mad at the tears already gathering in the sockets of my eyes. The worse feeling was being at work trying to focus when you had your significant other heavy on your mind. I couldn’t understand for the life of me why Jarei even wanted to be with me when he acted like everything about me disgusted him.

“If you really want this thing between us, you will be home tonight. I can’t keep going on like this.” I hung up in his face and quickly texted him the time to be expecting me home. After the text said delivered, I blocked his number so he wouldn’t further mess up my day. Jarei liked to talk bad to me through text making me feel bad. I wanted to desperately make this shit work with us because of the love that I refused to let go. I thought about all the years and time I put into this, all the sacrifices and didn’t want it all to go to waste.

Feeling good about myself, I got busy and helped to my full ability around the restaurant. I could feel the bottom of my feet throbbing and took a break. When I got back from break, I stepped into the front of the restaurant and noticed the sun was going down. We didn’t close super late on weekdays so today would be an early day which meant I would be closing and cleaning the kitchen then locking up the restaurant.

My eyes scanned the entire restaurant and they landed on the stranger who sat with a table full of thugs. They talked and laughed and threw back shots. Me and the stranger’s wild eyes connected and I quickly diverted my attention. Usually, I caught him looking at me, but today he caught me looking at him. My mouth went dry, and like a Nat being attracted to fruit, I couldn’t stop my eyes from looking up again and meeting his.

This time, he offered a smile with just his eyes, it didn’t reach his lips. With his elbows resting on the table, he motioned for me to come here with his index finger. I shook my head no and stopped when I realized I was telling a good-paying customer no. I frantically walked to the back of the restaurant and found a waiter by the name of Holly.

I sent her to go see what it was he wanted and busied myself with something other than spying on a total stranger that actually creeped me the fuck out. His arms appeared the size of Hulk Smash arms, all the tattoos covering his nutmeg skin tone didn’t take away from his blemish-free smooth skin. The black V-neck shirt hugged him kind of tight exposing all the ripples he had.

He looked to be uninterested in what his boys were talking about like his mind was on other things until those demanding gray orbs landed on me. Shaking my head by how caught up I was over him, I glanced at the time, and it was nearing closing time.

By the time I closed up mainly everything and made sure the staff had cleaned up the eating area, I went to the office to put the money up into the wall safe. Rolling my sleeves up and putting my phone on the R&B pandora station. I sat my phone down and prepared myself to tighten up an already clean kitchen area then check the rest of the place out to make sure it was perfect for opening in the morning.

“Pray-”

Startled, scared, and confused I turned around to face the most unique-looking man whom I accidentally spilled water on. In my mind I thought and knew he wasn’t supposed to be back here and that he crossed the line. He had a wild crazed look in his gray eyes, licking his thick full lips, and moving in closer to me as he chanted my name like a fucking maniac.