Page 152 of These Wicked Hearts

She nods.

“And I know technically I’m only supposed to see you when the team schedules it, but . . .” I exhale. “Can I start coming regularly?”

Her face remains calm, but warmth flickers in her eyes. “How often do you think?” She smiles, grabbing her planner and opening it.

“Uh, once a week. Maybe more if things get bad.”

She looks up at me. “That’s absolutely something we can arrange, I’m sure.”

The tension in my shoulders eases. “I keep thinking that if I ask for help, I’m failing somehow. Or burdening people.” My throat grows tight. “I don’t want to live like this anymore.” I want to be different, and I want to be someone Gage can lean on. I’m not sure what he wants, or if he’ll even want me, but I want to be strong enough to handle his weight. He’s been through a lot, and I want him to be able to lean on me.

She sits back a little in her chair. “Being here right now is a huge first step, Atlas. That’s very brave. It’s not easy to ask for help. How about I meet with you on Tuesday? At one, before the game. It might help clear your head, and we can go from there.”

I nod. “Yes. I can do that. Um, thank you. I’ll be here next week.”

“Great. I’ll look forward to it. You have a great night, Atlas. Go get some rest.”

I walk with Knox to his apartment on the floor below mine, but when I get to the elevator I don’t hit my floor. Instead, I find Gage’s and hit it instead. I wait, nerves rattling my gut, but I just want to see him and make sure he’s okay. I don’t want anything from him. He owes me nothing. I just want to see him and know that he’s whole.

I walk down to his apartment and pause in front of his door before finding the courage to knock. I wait a moment, surprised by the person who opens it. “Chen?”

“Oh uh, hey, Atlas.” He looks so tired, his normally bright brown eyes a bit dull. “Listen, uh, Gage is asleep. It’s been a long week.”

“I can imagine.” I swallow. “Did he get arrested yet?”

Chen’s expression darkens for a moment. “Not yet, but there are rumors it’ll happen this week. Another artist from our label just came forward. There are also rumors there’s video. I’m not sure how deep this goes.” Anger burns inside me all over again. “How’s your hand?” He smirks.

I look down, flexing my fingers. “A little bruised. Totally worth it.”

“You broke his nose.”

“I wish I’d broken more.”

Chen’s lips split into a smile. “I’ll tell him you came by, okay. He’s just going through a lot right now.”

“I know. I just wanted to make sure he’s okay.”

“I’m keeping an eye on him. Don’t worry, alright. I won’t let him out of my sight.”

“Good.” I shove my hands in my pockets. “I’m uh, I’ll go. I just wanted to check on him. I might go up on the roof for a bit. If he wakes up soon, will you just tell him that. Please. No expectation at all. I’ll be up there for a bit. I need some air.”

“Uh, yeah, I’ll tell him.” I turn away from him. “Hey, Atlas.”

“Yeah?” I turn back to face him.

“Thank you.”

“I would punch him all over again. I have dreams about it, actually. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.”

Chen laughs. “I didn’t mean for that, but it was magical.”

I smile. “Good night.”

I turn away and head up to the roof.

THIRTY-SIX

Gage