Page 131 of True Blue

“Bloody hell,” Sebastian says, shaking his head. “And his ex-girlfriend?”

I nod again.

“Bloody hell,” he repeats, slamming back a shot, the second one of this story.

We ordered them when I was halfway through the funeral, Sebastian’s jaw dropping open as I described that spectacle. He caught Lara as she was walking toward a customer and gently asked for two shots of tequila, top shelf.

Heartbreak necessitated the good stuff.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Indie,” he says, laying a hand over mine on the bar. It feels only friendly now, just pure comfort.

I think Sebastian and I both had been searching for something that we were not ready for—hence Sebastian’s boldness and me pushing myself to kiss him back.

Sebastian feels like a friend, and that feels right.

“Truly,” Sebastian stresses. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“I didn’t. And the thing that sucks is that Teddy didn’t deserve having Dawn as his mother,” I say, slamming back my shot. “He deserves better, but so do I.”

“Hear, hear,” he says, raising his glass. “You absolutely deserve better. And make sure you fucking demand better.”

I prop my elbow on the bar and lean my head on my hand, feeling a brief wave of sadness wash through me.

Around us, the lounge glows golden from the soft lighting, a couple is kissing in the corner booth, and a group of friends is taking pictures and laughing together.

My stomach twists.

“I miss him,” I admit quietly. “Does that make me an idiot?”

“Do you think I’m an idiot for missing Rose?” he counters immediately.

Frowning, I shake my head. “No. I think that makes you human. You were planning a life with Rose…”

“Then there’s your answer, love,” Sebastian says, winking.

My grin turns sly as I gesture to him with my glass. “You must be a good barrister.”

“I’m the fucking best,” he says, faux-smug and making me laugh.

Then something occurs to me, and I ask him because I feel comfortable around Sebastian now. Like he’s a friend—an unexpected friend built from a trauma bond over expensive liquor. The best kind of friend, really.

“Could you ever forgive Rose?”

Sebastian takes a deep breath, his eyes narrowing like he’s really thinking about his answer.

“When we talked after I had calmed down, because I was…” He trails off, jaw tightening, giving me a glimpse into how angry and broken he must have been. “Surprisingly, her apology was incredibly genuine. She said she was sorry. She admitted it was a conscious series of horrible decisions that she knew would hurt me, but didn’t care because she was only thinking about herself. She fully owned that. Took responsibility. Showed genuine remorse. She said she would never do it again. She misses me. She loves me. She’s attending therapy now to seek help for her impulsive, selfish behaviors.”

My brows raise in surprise.

“But I can still never forgive her,” he says, shrugging. “I considered it. I closed my eyes and imagined a future where I forgave her, and we reconciled, and I realized I could never unsee what I’d seen—” he flinches slightly. “—her and him, in our bed.”

This time, I’m the one laying a hand over his, squeezing. He gives me a small, sad smile.

“I loved Rose. I’ve known her since we were children, and she was my first—my only love. I would have moved heaven and earth for that woman,” he says, exhaling like all the air leaves his body at once. “But I would never trust her again. Never. And that’s not fair to either of us, keeping us in a relationship where I would question her every move. Every time I went out of town, I would be checking the cameras, texting her constantly, needing reassurance. If she even talked to another man, I would jump to conclusions. I would allow resentment to grow between us, and our relationship would be…”

“Toxic,” I supply, and he nods.

“I think I want to keep the memories of the good, because there were so many. She was such a big part of my life—a lot of my happy memories—even if the end of us was awful. But to do that, I had to let her go. And I still miss her every day I wake up and realize she’s not in bed with me.”