Page 110 of The Golden Hour

“You are a person who should do the things she loves to do,” Dr. DeNunez smiles. “And not feel guilty for a single second.”

“What are we going to do about the lawsuit, Mom?”

Melissa glances up from Daisy. “What do you mean, Honeybee?”

Honey looks at her mother sitting across from her at the picnic table. After Honey’s therapy session, Melissa picked her and Daisy up. Not wanting to be cooped up inside the house for the rest of the day, and wanting to heed Dr. DeNunez’s advice, Honey asked her mom if they could get lunch and go to the park.

Melissa smiled at the request, and twenty minutes later, they were sitting under a shaded picnic table, enjoying the crisp fall air.

Daisy is bundled up in a little bear jumpsuit that makes Honey’s teeth ache from how cute she looks. Mason blubbered and shed a few tears when he saw it on her before he left this morning.

The reluctance in his eyes when he lingered at the door, just looking at her and Daisy, made Honey’s chest ache for a reason that she does not want to acknowledge.

Daisy sits happily in her grandma’s lap, mostly because she can sit and smile at Honey while Honey eats her sandwich and chips.

“We’re meeting with the lawyer again soon,” Melissa says. “We’ll get this show on the road soon.”

“No, I know,” Honey sighs, wiping her fingers on her napkin. “I meant with… I don’t know, I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“What if I…” Honey sighs. “I keep wondering, what if I didn’t bring it up? What if I’m misremembering? What if I was so sick that I thought I did, but I didn’t.”

“You said you did,” Melissa says simply. “So you did.”

“But—”

“Honey,” Melissa gently cuts her off, her voice firm and unyielding. “You told them. They didn’t listen. They fucked up, and you and this little flower almost died. You are allowed to be angry at them. You’re allowed to hate them. You’re allowed to be selfish. For the love of God, baby—be angry and selfish right now! No martyr shit, please.”

Honey snaps her mouth closed, and instead of feeling empowered, she instead feels disappointed in herself.

“Why can’t I be more like you?” she questions.

Melissa frowns in confusion.

“Tough,” Honey says. “Strong. Not weak or afraid to stand up for myself. If you were in my shoes, you’d have the hospital scared of you.”

“You are not weak,” Melissa says, enunciating every single word. “You are soft, and sweet, and so damn kind—but you are not weak, Honey. Your softness is your strength. Your kindness is what makes you tough. You are not me.”

Honey wilts at that, until Melissa continues.

“And you are perfect just the way you are,” Melissa says, smiling tearfully at Honey. “You’re my little Honeybee, and I am so proud of you. I’m your mommy. I’m tough so you can feel safe to be soft.”

Honey’s throat tightens and she smiles. “Okay, Mom.”

“And you’re wrong.”

Honey frowns. “About what?”

“The hospital is scared of you,” Melissa says. “They’re shaking in their shiny shoes. That’s why they’re working so hard to stop it.”

Honey blinks.

She feels something spread through her entire body, so much like that feeling when she holds Daisy. A reinforcement added inside of her. Her mother’s words settle around her like armor on her skin.

“You are a lioness, Honey,” Melissa grins ferally. “And you make them fucking pay for hurting your cub.”

Honey looks at her daughter.