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I back away and stare at him.

“We shouldn’t,” I whisper. There are a million reasons why we shouldn’t. Our past, our history, how quick we are to wound, and how deep those wounds always are.

It’s dangerous but so enticing.

“What are you afraid of?” he asks.

“Felix might actually kill me,” I mutter.

“What, for having sex when you’re pregnant? Plenty of people have sex when pregnant, Delilah.”

“No, of course not. He won’t be bothered by that, not if I do it safely.”

“I know you think I’ve spent the last two years being reckless and fucking anybody who gives me a sideways glance, but I’ve always had safe sex, Delilah. Straight up sex, always with protection.”

“Straight up sex?” I raise my eyebrows at him, because it seems like an intriguing sentence.

“You’re the last woman I went down on, and the last woman who went down on me. Other than that, it’s just been fast fucks.”

“So romantic,” I chide. “I don’t know how so many women said you rocked their world.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t looking for romance. But, in that respect, we’re safe,” he explains.

“I didn’t mean it in that way, anyway. I meant… Felix is the one who has constantly had to pick me up and keep me going when you’ve broken my heart.”

“How about I promise not to break your heart,” he says. “For tonight, hearts are off the table. Can you do that?”

“What’s on the table instead?” I ask. I’m not entirely sure I can shut off my heart when it comes to him. Other men, sure—I tuck my heart away and am never surprised when I’m told I’m too closed off. Joseph, though, he makes me feel. He makes me feel the lowest lows, but also the highest highs.

He grins and scoops me up. I try to hold back my gasp, surprised that he doesn’t complain at my additional weight. He kicks the front door shut and then strides through to the dining room, putting me on the edge of the table in there.

“You say it’s been a year since you’ve been kissed. What about this?” He runs a hand up my leg, under the fabric of my skirt.

“Hmm. Yes. That would also be a year,” I reply.

“This too?” Now his fingers inch up my inner thigh, against the edge of my underwear.

“Hmm,” I murmur.

He chuckles slightly. “God, this is going to be interesting.”

Too stunned to talk, I rest my hands behind me on the table, pushing myself up slightly. Joseph stands in front of me, between my legs, a chair on either side of him. I rest a foot on each chair, using them both as leverage. I push up with both feet and both hands, my backside lifting off the table, just as he hooks his fingers into the sides of my underwear.

He pulls them down from underneath my skirt, lifting one foot off the chair to slip them off, pulling off my shoe as he does so. He puts my foot back onto the chair and does the same on the other side before kneeling in front of me, pushing my skirt up.

Then he buries his head between my legs. He uses two fingers in a V shape to part my pussy before he follows up with some gentle kisses across the skin, then circles his tongue around my clit.

“Oh, fuck. Why weren’t you doing this in the last two years, because this is a fine skill you have.” I gasp.

He pulls his head back but keeps his fingers in place, softly skimming over parts he’s barely touched but are already aching for more.

“Anybody can fuck, Delilah. Fucking doesn’t mean anything. But oral sex and making love, orgasming and maintaining eye contact through it all, that’s intimate. That’s a vulnerable connection. So, I’m going to go down on you, and then I’m going to take you upstairs and make love to you and watch you come, because you are the only person I’m ever vulnerable with,” he proclaims. He dips his head slightly, but then he glances back at me. “And I’m pretty sure I’m the only person you let yourself be vulnerable with too.”

Before I can answer and tell him he’s right, that he’s the only person who has seen me in a fully intimate and vulnerable way, his mouth and tongue find their positions again. Any doubt or thoughts I had disappear. It’s just him and me, and the glorious symphony that starts in my body.

He licks, nibbles, and sucks like he’s desperate for a taste of his favourite treat. I know I’m in danger of making this whole experience ridiculously short-lived because I can’t remember the last time a man went down on me, let alone with as much enthusiasm as Joseph is. Not only have I been avoiding men, but even without the pregnancy, the last few months have been both tense and stressful, so I feel like I’m wound tight, like a deadly firecracker set to explode without warning.

Joseph, though, seems to realise my desperation to try to make this exquisiteness last, and for a few minutes, he slows. Instead of the fast pace he had, he settles into a gentler rhythm. Longer swirls of his tongue around my clit, gentle caresses of his finger following. He pushes one finger up into my pussy.