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The Dowager would understand. It wasn’t as though their arrangement had come about out of the Dowager’s great need for a companion. She had no lack of friends or relatives. They both knew she’d offered Clara the position out of a sense of obligation to her mother.

While she was grateful, she’d never wanted it to be her position forever.

She’d rather become a working lady; run her own school and help others than continue in a life where she did not belong to anyone.

At least at her own school she would belong to herself.

Movement behind her had her spinning around to find Alex hovering in the doorway.

“My apologies,” he said. “I did not realize anyone was in here.”

That was what he spoke aloud. What his eyes were saying? That was another matter entirely.

Her breath caught in her throat at the intensity of his gaze. She wondered if he too were remembering that kiss—all too brief but life-altering nonetheless.

Sure enough, as she thought it, his eyes fell to her lips and his eyes darkened with passion.

She stood so abruptly the chair nearly toppled over. Her heart raced so quickly she feared she might faint.

This. This right here was why she needed to leave, why she had to come up with some plan for her future that had nothing to do with love or marriage or any of the other dreams that were too painful to ponder.

The thought had her spine stiffening and her hands fluttering to settle over her belly, trying to calm the giddy sensation that was unbidden and unwelcome. One kiss should not have affected her so.

One man should not have this much power over her body and mind.

Do not forget your heart.

“I am interrupting,” he said in that low, quiet voice of his. His brows, as usual, were drawn together, but she knew him better now. How anyone could believe him to be so utterly serious, so one-dimensional…they were fools, the lot of them.

There was more to this man than anyone knew. The silly chits in society might mock him for his stiff ways, but she could tell them all that when it came time for accounting, wit and charm counted for naught.

Give her reliable and responsible any day. They could have their rogues and their rakes—she would rather a fine, solid, dependable man like Alex.

But he was not hers, and he never would be.

She could only hope that his wife appreciated him as much as she did.

“You are not interrupting,” she said. “Please, come and join me.”

He took another step into the room, leaving the door open behind him. This was his home; this was entirely proper.

Tell that to your heart.

“I was just reading letters from my family,” she said.

He took another step closer. “Are they well?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Silence stretched between them, and for the first time in her life she was at a loss as to how to fill it. He cleared his throat, and her gaze flew up to meet his.

“We should talk,” he said.

She shook her head. “No need.”

He frowned. “You do not know what I was going to say.”

A rueful smile tugged at her lips. “I can guess.”