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He hesitated only briefly. “About last night—”

“There is really no need to apologize.”

“I think there is,” he said.

She clenched her hands into fists at her sides. Did he have any idea how much this hurt her? Could he not just let her have one sweet, dear memory with a man she admired? “Please,” she said, her voice fraught with tension.

He shook his head. “I must speak. I must apologize.” He shook his head again, his eyes narrowed in confusion. “I do not know what I was thinking.” He met her gaze. “That is not true—I was not thinking. I acted rashly. If anyone had seen—”

“But they did not,” she interjected. “No one knows, and no one will know.”

He took a step toward her. “Clara, I haven’t been able to sleep or eat. I cannot forget—”

“But you must.” It came out harsher than intended, likely because she was warning herself as much as him. “It was a mistake,” she said quietly, her insides twisting in abhorrence at the thought.

It wasn’t a mistake. It couldn’t have been.

“It was a mistake,” she repeated, firmer this time as Alex’s eyes moved over her face, reading her like a book. “And it will not happen again.”

His eyes widened slightly, but he nodded. “Of course.”

“It cannot,” she said, softer this time.

“Of course. I would never wish to cause you harm.”

She nodded, her throat too constricted to speak. She believed him. He was one of few men in her life whom she trusted. Ridiculous, considering the short period of time she’d known him, but true nonetheless. She cleared her throat. “You have a future and your family to concern yourself with,” she said. “I would not wish to stand in the way of that.”

“And you,” he said quickly. “I promised you I would help you, and I meant every word.”

Pride warred with need. Her ego battled with the newfound dream of a freedom and a new life for herself and hopefully her sister. “About that…”

He moved closer until she could feel the warmth that emanated from him. “What is it?” he asked. “What can I do for you?”

She licked her lips, and turned her attention to her hands, which were clasped before her. “I’ve decided to open a school for young ladies.”

“A school for charm?”

She could hear the teasing in his voice, though it was subtle, at best. “Yes, actually.”

“Oh.” He sounded so surprised that she looked up to meet his eyes. “You are serious.”

She lifted her shoulders in a helpless shrug. “Is it really such a terrible idea considering my other options?”

“But surely you want—” He cut himself off, clamping his mouth shut as he studied her. “Forgive me. It is not for me to presume what you want.”

“It is not about what I want,” she said. “It’s about what I do not want. It is about choosing a path for myself rather than hoping to make do with what little society will allow me.”

“I’ve told you, I will look out for you. I will give you a dowry, and—”

“You are not my family,” she said. It burst out of her too loudly. But his offer to take her in as though she were another sister…it hurt in a way she could not describe.

She could resign herself to being his friend. She could embrace the idea of a livelihood. But becoming Alex’s sister, even if just in theory…it was unbearable.

After a long silence, he broke it with a question. “What is it that you need from me? Money? Connections?”

“Yes, and yes,” she said with a small smile, relieved that he’d dropped the idea of bequeathing her with a dowry. “The money would be a loan,” she said. “And I’d also ask that after you m-marry—” She cursed herself for stumbling over the word. “That after you marry, your family might help…that is to say…might set an example…”

“Of course.” He mercifully stepped in without making her clarify. “My family will always welcome you into our home and at our gatherings.”