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SABINA

This is hell.

This might actually be hell.

Everything Raven said spins around and around in my mind like a spinning top that won't stop. Leo's desperate grab for an heir, old-school bonds like marriage and drugs, and my daughter being the key to everything.

Little Illyana.

She smiled at me with such hope in her eyes on the plane, and I'd realized the only thing she was clinging to was the chance at a new kidney and the life that would follow. Being shunted from group to group, person to person, must be hell, and yet she rides it all because of the promise of life.

I want to give her that.

But at the expense of her future?

"They might seem like the only two options," Bradley says, and a soft sound fills the air as he slides one palm over the table. "But we have options."

"Options?" I drag my gaze away from Cassian, scarcely able to blink as I look at Bradley. "Tell me, then. Tell me how we save Illyana without my kidney? Tell me how we get it to her without handing myself over and if, and that's a big if, we manage to do that, how do you know they won't kill me on the table? Or worse, what will they do to her?"

"One thing we can guarantee is that they need Illyana alive," Valentina says gently. "Which means they will be doing absolutely everything they can to keep her that way. Which makes you, Sabina, the most important piece in this entire puzzle."

I grit my teeth and a tremble works through my arms. "Like some kind of pawn?"

"Sabina." Bradley cuts in gently as Cassian's hand moves to my thigh. "Boris's open attack on the Suit gives us a lot of leeway here. Cassian told me he had explained who we are and what we do. The reason we work is that everyone helps us work. There are countless families all unwilling to give up a piece of the pie or rock the boat. Which means Boris's allies will start to fall as soon as we make it known that they have marked themselves for death."

"For… death?" I finally blink and another tear rolls down my cheek, one I hastily wipe away.

"Yes," Bradley says firmly. "That means they have even more reason to keep Illyana alive. She's the only thing standing between you and them."

"I don't see," I say tightly. "How are you presenting me with other options? All I see is that my daughter is the only thing standing between you and wiping out that man, and believe me, I am happy for you to do that, but not while he has my daughter. So tell me!" The longer I talk, the louder I become until I’m standing and yelling at Bradley. "How does this help me? How does this help Illyana?"

"Sabina!”

"No, I—” The word catches in my throat and suddenly, I can't breathe. Heat pours through me as if I've just been dunked into a pool of heated water and my stomach twists into knots. It's panic, surging through me like a tidal wave I can't control. Bradley's on his feet and his lips move, but nothing reaches me. Same for Valentina, and then Cassian's arm is around my waist.

He scoops me up, and my racing heart lurches within the restricted confines of my chest, but before I can process anything, we're suddenly outside. A watery-blue sky stretches out infinitely above me, dotted with fluffy white clouds, while a light breeze carries the scent of the city, a mix of street vendors and exhaust fumes among the sharp, sweet scent of a few plants around where Cassian sets me down.

"I'm with you, Sabina," he says firmly, keeping hold of my hand. "I'm right here. Follow me. In and out, like I'm doing, see?"

My eyes roll as I look at him, and as soon as we lock eyes, I suddenly can't look away. The exaggerated movements of his chest are easy to follow and within a few minutes of flooding my lungs with the cool, crisp air, the tension band around my ribs eases.

"You carried me," I gasp softly.

Cassian nods and smiles. "Of course I did."

"With one arm."

"Did you doubt my strength?"

"No, just… I… I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just got so angry so quickly because they were telling me all of these things about me and my daughter and that I was purchased to churn out a baby for some twisted Mafia bastard desperate for an heir to secure a deal? I mean, do you see how insane all of that sounds?"

I press one hand to my chest and force slow breaths.

"I do." Cassian nods. "I'm sorry. We deal with things like this all the time, and it's easy to forget that someone outside the circle might feel overwhelmed. I'm sorry, Sabina. We should have been more delicate. Bradley is like a bull when something happens to one of us."

"How did my life end up like this? All of this was happening while I was… while I was persuading myself that I was crazy and pouring all my feelings into cooking."