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“She has this way of twisting everything,” I continue, my voice quieter now. “Every mistake I make, every doubt or insecurity, she uses it as proof that I’m weak or incompetent. And the worst part is… I started to believe her.”

Xed’s face hardens, anger flashing in his eyes. “Matty—"

“I started to think that maybe she was right. That maybe you’d look at me the same way she did, like I was nothing. And I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you, Xed. So I pushed it all down. Buried it. Convinced myself that keeping quiet was the only way to keep you in my life.”

His hand finally finds mine, our pinkies curling together, and I let his touch keep me in the moment.

“I didn’t want to mess up what we had,” I whisper. “You’ve always been my safe place, Xed. The one person who sees me for who I really am. And I didn’t want to risk losing that by letting you see all the broken parts of me.”

Xed squeezes my pinky tightly. “You’re not broken, Matty. And you never have to be perfect for me.”

The tears I’ve been holding back finally spill onto my cheeks. “I’m trying, Ducky. I’m trying to believe that. But it’s hard, you know? It’s hard to let go of the things she said, the things she made me feel, but I’ve…I’ve been seeing a therapist, and we’re working through it.”

He looks away momentarily, staring over my shoulder like he’s wrestling with something. When his gaze meets mine again, a heaviness in his eyes makes my chest ache.

“I know how you feel,” he says quietly.

My brows furrow, and I tilt my head, blinking away tears. “You mean…?”

“Aunt Pearl.” He lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “She did the same to me. Maybe not like Valerie did to you, but… God, Matty, she made me feel like shit, like I was worthless. Like I wasn’t good enough for anyone to love.”

“But I’ve always loved you,” I whisper, bringing his palm to my jaw. “My parents have always loved you.”

“She used to call me ugly,” he murmurs, fingers flexing on my skin. “Good for nothing, could never do anything right. A face not even a mother could love because mine kicked me to the curb moments after birth.”

“Xed,” I whisper, throat like sandpaper from holding back the sobs.

He shakes his head, cutting me off. “And then you chose Valerie.”

My stomach drops at the anger swirling in his dark eyes.

“You chose her,” he says again, his voice trembling now. “You picked her over me, and all I could think was, She’s right. Pearl was fucking right. Even Matty doesn’t want me.”

“Xed, that’s not—"

“You don’t get it,” he snaps, pulling his hand away to rake it through his hair. “You were the only person who ever made me feel like I was enough. Like I mattered. And then you chose someone who made you feel how Pearl made me feel? Do you know what that does to me, Matty?”

“I didn’t know,” I say desperately, reaching for him. “I didn’t realize—"

“Of course you didn’t.” He starts to pace, itching at his arms under his sleeves. “Because I never said anything. I just… I let it fester. Let it eat away at me because I didn’t think you’d care. Hell, I convinced myself you were happier without me.”

Stepping toward him, I gently grab his wrist to stop the scratching. “Xed, I was never happier without you. I was miserable. I just… I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know how to face you after everything.”

He stops pacing, turning to face me incredulously. “You don’t get to use that as an excuse, Matty. You don’t get to break my heart and then act like it didn’t happen.”

“I’m not excusing it,” I tell him firmly. “I’m owning it. I messed up, Xed. I messed up so badly, and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but…”

“But what?” he prompts roughly.

Moving closer, I give in and wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him against me. “But I’m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you, and I don’t want to keep running from it. From us. If you can give me one more chance, if you can try, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that Pearl was wrong. That Valerie was wrong. That you are enough. For me, for Hannah, for everything.”

Xed’s chest rises and falls with uneven breaths, his gaze searching mine. For what, I don’t know, but I stand there, waiting, hoping, praying that he’ll let me in again.

Please. I’m sorry. We can heal.

Do you promise? Can we come back from this?

I promise we can try.