Page 20

“Last week, we invited you to the Symbiotic concert, and you said no,” Oscar points out.

“Yeah, because you only had one extra ticket,” I drawl, rolling my eyes. “What was I supposed to do, leave Xed behind?”

“Well, yeah.” They exchange another look like I’m the dumb one. “Does he have to go where you go?”

I open my mouth to tell them that yes, in fact, he does, but close it when I realize how clingy that sounds. They wouldn’t get it, anyway, even if I tried explaining it to them. What Xed and I have is—

Well, what exactly do we have now?

That thought leaves me floundering, and I stare at my two teammates helplessly, suddenly at a loss for words. Oscar studies me closely, his eyes getting wider the longer I remain silent until they’re damn near bugging out of his skull.

“Oh shit, Albrecht. I mean, I kind of figured you liked dudes.”

Pika chokes on the water bottle he’d been chugging as I stammer, feeling my entire face flame at the insinuation.

“W-What, No. Xed’s just… friends. We’re just friends.” Friends who kiss and hump each other. “I’m not into men.”

I’m not. I’m into Xed. Who is...admittedly also a man. But I’ve never looked at dudes that way, they’re stinky and gross. Xed smells like hair gel and tastes like bubblegum toothpaste because he hates mint. He’s warm, and funny even when he’s grouchy, and I like the way he seeks out my hand in his sleep. The way he makes me feel smart, even if he has to explain my calculus homework fifty times in a row. He never loses patience when I trip, or drop something, or squeeze him too tight. Unlike Valerie…

He loves me the way I am. What I feel for him isn’t wrong. I just wish society—and my teammates—saw it the same way. Sure, Taylor’s stepbrother Huckslee is openly gay in football at his college in California, but this is Utah. Things don’t work the same way here.

“Okay, man, chill.” Pika eyes me with disgust before pulling his twin off the bench and backing away. “No one’s saying anything. You guys just go everywhere together, that’s all.”

Panic rises in my throat at the thought of Coach and the entire team finding out what I did. If word got around that I was gay, my whole future in college football and the NFL would fall apart, everything I’ve been working toward since I was practically in diapers exploding in my face. What Xed and I have may not be wrong, but I’m not ready for the world to know about it, yet.

So I do the only thing I can think of to throw them off my trail.

“Look, I just let him follow me around because I feel bad.”

The words burn like acid on my tongue, and as soon as they’re out, I want to shove them back inside. My eyes sting almost immediately as shame makes my stomach drop.

Inhaling, I’m about to take it all back when the door hinges and groans behind us, drawing my attention. I spin around just in time to catch sight of Xed’s mohawk before it disappears out the door, and I feel my entire body grow cold.

Shit. He was standing there the entire time.

I take a step forward, intending to run after him to explain, but Pika holds me back with a palm to my chest, something cruel glinting in his eyes.

“Then there should be no issue going to the party, right?” He sneers, staring me down challengingly while his brother heaves a heavy sigh.

“Pika, stop. He said he doesn’t want to go. Leave him alone.”

But Pika does no such thing. In fact, the asshole cages me in against the lockers, his build almost as big as mine. “You up for it, Albrecht? There should be plenty of pussy to wet your dick unless that’s not your style.”

Cringing at his words, I shove him backward, only feeling slightly guilty when he trips over the bench and crashes to the floor with a yelp. “Get the fuck off me, man. I said I’m not gay.”

I’m definitely not straight. But I’m not gay, either. Doesn’t feel like it fits.

“Prove it.” Climbing to his feet, he dusts himself off nonchalantly; all the while, his brother sits there with his head bowed.

“I don’t need to prove anything to you,” I scoff, adjusting the towel around my waist to keep it on, and Pika snickers.

“Just admit you like dick, Albrecht. Everyone knows it.”

They… what?! “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Oscar sighs again, reaching up to rub the back of his neck awkwardly. “There’s… rumors, man, among the team. You never go out with anyone, and on away games, you stay in the hotel to call Xed. It’s weird.”

“That’s not weird,” I say defensively, crossing my arms. So what if I like to hang out with my best friend and FaceTime him when we’re apart? I have a hard time sleeping when he’s not next to me. Seeing his face before bed calms me down. It’s not weird.