Page 21

…Right?

“I’ve dated plenty of girls in high school,” I tell them, trying to hide my panic. “College has just been super busy.”

Okay, that’s a lie. I’ve only dated Val.

Pika shrugs, still unconvinced. “Well, we’re off for the weekend. No time like the present to find a hookup.”

He slaps me hard on the back, and I force myself not to flinch, grinding my teeth as I silently wish Xed would walk through those doors and save me from this shit.

They’re both staring at me, expectant, waiting for an answer. Even though I’d rather be at home with Xed, sitting on the couch and playing video games, I feel myself nodding slowly.

“Yeah. Fine. Just let me shower, and we can go.”

Pika scoffs, unimpressed, but Oscar offers me a thumbs-up and a tired smile. Their eyes stay glued to me, leaving me no choice but to leave my phone in the locker and head to the showers.

Inside the stall, the hot water burns my skin as I scrub myself down quickly, my fingers itching to grab my phone. I want to text Xed to explain everything and apologize.

To tell him I didn’t mean it.

I’d never mean it.

Once I’m out, the twins still wait for me, whispering to themselves near the door. They stop when they see me, and the feeling of their eyes watching me as I dress makes my skin crawl. Pulling out my phone, I barely have enough time to send my best friend a single message before Pika once again smacks my back, making me jump.

“Ready?”

Gazing at the screen, I watch the text get marked as read, but no dots indicate that he’s typing a response.

“Yeah, ready. Let’s go.”

The entire time we walk across campus toward the dorms, I keep my eyes on my phone, waiting for Xed to text me. When he doesn’t, I send him another.

Me:

Look, Ducky, I didn’t mean what I said. Pika and Oscar were getting in my head, and I just…I’m sorry, okay?

Still no response. And it makes me nauseous.

By the time we enter the athletic dorms, I’m a nervous wreck. The twins keep eyeing me over their shoulder, and I don’t want to seem suspicious if I call him, but fuck! Why won’t he answer me?

The party is in full swing by the time we make it to a room on the second floor, heavy bass vibrating the walls. Most of the team is here, and I’m met with shocked faces when they spot me walking through the door.

“Damn, you two got Albrecht to come out?”

“Good to see you finally out in the wild, man.”

A few of them fist bump me as I make my way through the cramped space, side-stepping dubious substances pooled on the floor. Xed still hasn’t said anything, and my chest constricts painfully. The room feels hot and muggy.

These dorms are larger than the others on campus, featuring two full bedrooms and a bathroom. I’m tempted to lock myself in one of them, but Pika won’t leave me alone. He stays glued to my side with that smug smirk as he hands me a beer. Even though I’m not old enough to drink, I chug down the lukewarm liquid, needing some strength to get through the next hour or so—that’s how long I plan to stay. I really need to get home.

“Let’s play King’s Cup.” Ivan, the team’s captain, drags me over to a dilapidated coffee table covered in playing cards, a crowd of people surrounding it, and I lose myself in the game despite feeling alone and out of place. The longer I play, the more I drink, and Xed’s silence presses on my nerves with every passing second.

How do I make this right? He’s never ignored me before, not in our whole lives. I know what I said was fucked up, but…shit, I’m here on a scholarship. I can’t mess that up. And why is it anyone’s business anyway who I have in my bed?!

I’m so screwed up inside my head that I don’t even realize who the body hanging off my shoulder is until I look over with bleary vision into Valerie’s smirking face.

“Oh, fuck.”

“Hey, Matty,” she purrs, pressing herself against me, and I try to move away but end up bumping the table instead, knocking over a few drinks.