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“M-Matthew,” I cough, wriggling to try and get free. “You’re squeezing me, big guy. Let go.”

“Don’t wanna,” he mumbles, rolling onto his side, pinning me between his big dumb body and the cushions.

“You will in about five seconds when I piss all over you.”

A laugh rumbles his chest as he buries his face in my hair. “Hannah’s covered me in worse. Not afraid.”

Yeah, that makes two of us. Puke, food, shit. Babies are messy.

I spend the next few minutes trying to break free, growling in frustration when I feel him smile against my forehead before giving up and going limp with a huff. “Not fair. It’s like fighting a mountain.”

“Can’t believe we fell asleep like two old men,” he grunts, peeking down at me. “Remember the parties we used to throw in high school?”

“Christian and Taylor actually threw them. We just showed up for free booze.”

“Shit, booze. I forgot about my beer.” Turning over, he glances at the half-empty beer bottles on the coffee table. “God, we’re lame now.”

“Correction, we’re parents now,“ I laugh, sitting up awkwardly. “I mean...you are. A parent, I mean. I’m just...” The one who takes care of your daughter every time you leave for football, who bathes her most nights and helps change her diapers. “The Uncle.”

“The Funcle,” he corrects with a grin. “Get it? Fun Uncle?”

Yeah...

“Haha.” Climbing over his body, I sigh at the mess of toys scattered around the living room, instead focusing on picking up the empty pizza box and beer bottles. I’ll clean up tomorrow.

“Bedtime, I guess?” Matty asks, following me into the kitchen, where I empty the beer and toss the trash.

“Yeah, probably. I’ve got an early morning class.”

And my Human Behavior professor is a real prick. He definitely will not tolerate me being late again, even though the first two times were because Hannah got sick. Thank fuck for Jenna, Salem, and the guys who have stepped in on numerous occasions to help out where they can.

When they say it takes a village to raise a kid, they absolutely mean it. I know Matty’s parents would also be here if they weren’t always traveling for work. Valerie’s dad couldn't give two shits about his own granddaughter.

It’s not until we’re both standing in our room after getting ready for the night that we realize we’ll be sharing a bed alone for the first time in years. Matty clears his throat, avoiding my gaze as he peels back the covers to slide in, and my heartbeat kicks up. There’s no distraction tonight, no small body to put between us, and I’m contemplating returning to sleep on the couch when he pats the sheets with a nervous laugh.

“Come to bed, Xed. I won’t bite you.”

But I wish you would, and that’s the problem.

Tugging off my shirt, I leave my jeans on as I slip under the blanket, staying on my side as far to the edge as possible. Then he turns off the lamp, drowning us in darkness, our breathing filling the silence. We usually leave the hall light on for Hannah, but he must have flipped the switch behind us.

With my eyes closed, I try to steady my pulse, the warmth of his body reaching me despite the distance, and it takes all of my strength not to seek it out. To turn around and let it seep into me, let it thaw the ice that’s built up in my veins over the years. Until now, I hadn’t realized how much his presence still affected me.

I won’t be getting any sleep tonight.

It doesn’t seem he will either because eventually, he sighs heavily, rustling around behind me.

“This is weird,” he whispers, and I hum in agreement.

“I know, I’ve gotten used to drifting off to Hannah’s babbles.”

“Not that,” he answers softly. “Well, yeah, I’m not used to her being gone, but...this. Us. We used to cuddle.”

Blowing out a breath, I open my eyes and gaze at the moonlight streaming in through the blinds. “That was...before.”

“Before I screwed everything up.”

“Matthew.” Huffing in annoyance, I flip around to toss him a scowl. “You didn’t screw up, Hannah’s the best thing that ever happened to us. And you know what happened with Val wasn’t you choice–”