Page 93

Asix-hour flight to Salt Lake City after a rough game in Georgia is not what I’d call a good time, especially with a blizzard rolling in. By the time I high-tail it out of the airport and flag down an Uber, I’m dead on my feet, but the minute Xed texted me, I knew I couldn’t let him go through this alone.

Due to the storm, it takes nearly an hour to reach the nursing home where his Aunt Pearl has been living. The snow is piling up as I grab my bag and rush inside the facility, which isn’t the most luxurious; it’s a bit run-down and needs a serious paint job. The receptionist at the front desk greets me with a warm smile when I approach, but it fades after I ask for Pearl’s room.

“Number 140, down this hall, and take a left,” she says grimly. “You might want to hurry though, hun.”

I hasten my steps, my chest tightening as I quickly scan each room. When I finally find the one I’m looking for, I step inside, my stomach dropping at the sight of Xed in a chair against the wall.

He has his head bent, focused on the floor, but looks up the moment I enter. Dark brown strands of hair cover one side of his blank face, and the usual spiked leather jacket clings to his frame. His gaze shifts to the bed in the middle of the room, and when I follow it, I see Pearl lying under the blankets. Her body is completely still—eerily so—and I almost think she might be…

“She’s gone.”

His voice is as flat as his expression, his eyes dull as he stares at his aunt’s corpse. I exhale sharply, lungs emptying as I make my way over to him.

“I’m so sorry, Ducky.”

Xed says nothing when I wrap my arms around him, and I’m taken aback by how cold he feels. Almost as if he’s the lifeless one in this room.

Pulling back, I study his face, searching for anything recognizable in those gold-flecked irises. All I find is emptiness.

Pressing my lips to the shaved side of his scalp, I breathe him in for the first time since we separated three months ago. “It’s okay to be sad.”

“I’m not,” he bites out, pushing away as he stands. “I could give two shits about her. I’m only here because the nurse had no one else to call.”

“Yeah.” I watch him stuff his hands in his pockets, wishing he’d just let me hold him. “That’s okay, too. You’re allowed to feel how you feel.”

He scoffs, throwing me a scowl before heading out of the room. “I feel nothing. You shouldn’t have come, Matty.”

“But I wanted to.” Trailing after him, I give his aunt one last glare, hating the woman for everything she put my best friend through—all the lies she put in his head.

I hope you burn in hell.

We end up at the nurse’s station, where Xed essentially releases the body to the state, announcing that he doesn’t care what happens to it. They gape at him like he’s pure evil, but he doesn’t seem to care. I press myself into his side as he fills out some papers, but he pulls away when he’s finished. He doesn’t speak to me, even when I follow him out to the Subaru, covered in thick layers of snow. As he warms it up, I clean off the windshield with my bare hands, freezing in my light shirt and jeans. When I slip into the car, I find him glaring at me.

“Why the hell aren’t you wearing a coat?”

With a shrug, I rub my arms to warm them up. “I hopped on a plane from Atlanta as soon as I got off the field. It’s like seventy degrees there right now.”

“Jesus, Matthew.” He turns up the heat, aiming the vents toward me as he pulls out of the parking lot, and I rub my arms to get the blood flowing again. We’re both quiet during the drive, “Better" by Breathe Carolina filling the silence as I fight the urge to take his hand like I used to.

“Where are you going?” I ask when he turns toward the opposite direction of the townhome, and he throws me an unreadable look.

“My apartment.”

Shit, that’s right. I don’t even know where he lives. That thought makes my chest ache.

Falling back into silence, I watch the familiar cityscape fly by, feeling nostalgic. Arizona is fine. It’s warm and beautiful, but it’s not home—not without Xed.

The blizzard makes reaching our destination take a while. I’m almost asleep when he whips into a parking spot, fatigued from the game and long flight. Xed nudges me awake, letting me know we’re here, and I brace for the cold as I step out of the car.

His apartment building is small, just two stories with eight units. He leads me to door number four, unlocking it before letting us inside. Warm air hits me immediately, making me shiver as I sweep my gaze over the cramped space.

Other than a few camping chairs and a scratched coffee table with a bong on it, there’s no other furniture. Not even a table in the kitchenette or a TV. Nothing on the peeling walls. It’s…cold despite the space heater on full blast in the corner. Lifeless. Hollow.

Not at all like the townhome we used to share.

I can feel Xed’s eyes on me, and I meet his dark gaze as his lips twist into an ugly sneer.

“Home sweet home.”