Page 94

Kicking off his boots, he heads toward one of the rooms in the back without another glance in my direction. Without any other choice, I follow, eyeing the leaking sink faucet. I could probably fix that before I go.

“What happened to all the furniture in the townhome?” I ask as I step inside his room, watching him flop onto a small mattress.

He shrugs, slipping off his jacket. “Left it all there for the new tenants. Salem and I wanted to start fresh.”

By start fresh, I’m pretty sure he means start over, and I hate it. Hate the way it feels like he’s completely erased me from his life.

Clearing my throat, I lean down to untie my sneakers to hide the tears in my eyes. “Where is Salem, anyway?”

“Who knows? Probably with Christian and Tay planning their tour.”

“Hmm.” Lining my shoes up neatly next to his bedroom door, I turn in time to watch him pull his shirt sleeve down quickly, and my jaw tightens at the fresh burn I just saw.

“I’m guessing you plan on staying?” He says mildly, averting his gaze, and I take in the blizzard raging outside his window.

“If you want me to go, I can try to Uber to a hotel.”

“Whatever.” He lays down on the bed, rolling onto his side away from me, and I stand awkwardly for a moment.

“Should… should I sleep on the floor? Or in Salem’s room? You have no couch, so…”

He gives me a shrug in response. “Whatever.”

Not whatever, dammit.

Tugging at my strands for a few seconds, I decide to hell with it and climb into bed, squeezing myself in so that Xed gets smooshed between my body and the wall. He grumbles but says nothing, tucking his head in his hands, and I wrap my arms around him tightly. The feel of his body makes my cock swell, so I shift away, stuffing part of the blanket in between us to block it. As much as I’ve missed him these last few months… now is not the time for that.

With a sigh, I shut my eyes, finally feeling like I can relax. Maybe get some proper sleep for once. Being alone has been tough, and my performance on the field is starting to reflect my exhaustion. We got our asses handed to us today.

I’ve just about fallen asleep when Xed’s soft voice rouses me.

“She’s been calling me for months, but I ignored her.”

Nuzzling into the back of his neck, I press my lips against his skin. “What do you think she wanted?”

“Money,” he spits roughly, but I swear I hear a sniffle. “For medical expenses. Not my fucking problem. She wasn’t good to me.”

“No.” I’m quiet, picking my words carefully because I know my best friend despite the distance. I know he’s hurting. “But it’s okay to mourn who she could have been.”

Xed takes a shuddering breath, wiping his eyes. “Hannah’s lucky to have Jenna. And you. I’m glad she has a family, unlike me.”

My brows slam down as I lift my head to look at him. “You have a family.”

He scoffs, stomach moving against my hand, but he doesn’t respond. And that makes me angry.

“So Hannah isn’t your family? Jenna, my mom and dad? Me?”

Rolling over, he scowls at me, eyes like daggers to my heart. “And what am I to Hannah, Matthew? To you?”

Blinking rapidly, I can only stare at him because I don’t understand the question. How can I possibly sum up everything he is to me? Every thought before I close my eyes is of him, my mornings spent wishing I could roll over and press my face into his chest, but he’s not there. I just want him back. I want him and Hannah back, and it hurts so fucking much sometimes.

When I don’t immediately respond, he flops back onto his side, grumbling under his breath. “Go to sleep. I’ll drive you to the airport in the morning.”

He immediately shuts down, going so far as to scoot away from me, and I hate it. There’s still so much I need to say, but my brain won’t operate, and I’m so drained. So I just press myself against him again, forcing his arms open to accommodate me as I shut my eyes, letting his familiar scent envelop me.

Let us sleep for now. I’ll find a way to make things better in the morning.

Chapter thirty-eight