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Jude disappears.
Captain.
Damiano lying in that hospital bed while I held a spoon to his mouth, trying to make him take one bite.
Then another.
Va bene, capitana.
No.
I look up, trying to push it away. Not going there.
But the memories come one after another. Hospital halls. Needles. His weakened body. The fear I felt in my bones every time I looked at him and wondered how much longer I could pretend I wasn’t terrified.
Jude notices immediately.
“You okay?”
I shake my head, and then I’m moving.
I don’t really see the kitchen as I walk through it or hear Jude following me. I just keep going, out of the house and down onto the sand until cold water rushes over my feet.
And suddenly I’m not here anymore.
Fluorescent lights.
White walls.
That fucking hospital.
Damiano.
Va bene, capitana.
He used to call me that.
Capitana.
I need air.
Why can’t I fucking breathe?
“Nora.”
I turn.
Jude.
He’s standing a few feet behind me, concern written all over his face.
“Come here.”
He takes my hand and pulls me toward him.
“Can’t...” I drag in a breath that doesn’t fucking work. “Can’t breathe.”
His hands come to my arms.