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“We are helping you by tormenting you—fuck… that sounded so poetic.”

“It did.” I agree. “I have to say, I didn’t expect that knowledge bomb from you.”

“I know, me neither.”

“You know… Yesterday Leo an’ me headed up to his room an’ stuck around for a few drinks while we had a look at today’s menu. He was lookin’ a bit rough, but he said he was just tired.”

“I’ve seen him tired, Finni. This is something else,” I say, not sure how I could explain this feeling I have inside.

The hurt and panic I feel whenever Cillian looks at me now… it feels like it’s crushing my chest.

And no… he doesn’t look tired.

His expression is more like sadness, and his eyes seem darker, as if the light had gone out.

“Besides asking for my bror, has he done anything else odd?”

“He avoids me, moves away when I am close, and he looks at me as if I’m breaking his heart.”

“Well…” Finnian shrugs. “You kinda are.”

“I would never,” I say immediately.

Just the thought of it makes me nauseous.

“An’ you think ghostin’ him as soon as the contract’s over won’t hurt him? Aye… sure.”

I want to answer him back, to tell him he is wrong since we promised to part ways after the contract is over.

But I can’t.

And not because of how Cillian feels, but because of how I feel…

Just the thought of never seeing Cillian again makes my chest ache.

It is as if I can’t breathe.

Is that why he is avoiding me?

Because he’s trying to disconnect from me before I leave him?

Ugh…

My chest hurts again, and it’s a pain that I both understand and don’t understand, because I can tell it is grief… I just don’t know over what.

Am I grieving the loss of Cillian?

The loss of what I felt at the cabin?

Feelings I’ve never felt before.

“Yeah…” I admit, and it breaks something in me. “I think that could be it.”

“An’ what are you going to do about it?”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“Wait! Before you go…” Björn walks to me and gives me a weird, overly affectionate hug and pats my back. “Good luck!”