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“I want to believe that so badly but look where I am, Linc. I was on top of the world, literally just steps away from making my dream come true, and now, I have nothing. I’m a grown-ass woman, working in a damn pub to keep my roof over my head and coming to my parents to ask them for money.”

“You’re someone who made a mistake and got knocked back a few notches,” fire danced in his eyes as he glared at me. “I know it’s disappointing to have everything you want right at your fingertips and feel like you’ve lost it. But, sometimes, what you want isn’t what’s best for you. You comfortably have a home, you have food, you have a job, and you have income. Some days that might seem basic as fuck, until you sit back and realize how many people barely have that.”

“I understand that, I swear I do. I’ll admit that life could be worse. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still weigh heavily on me that I’m not where I’m supposed to be.”

“By your standards, Nyx,” Lincoln replied gently. “You gotta start redirecting the way you look at things, or you’re never going to get off the pity party train. I love you, Ma and Pop love you, and so does Rae. No matter what happens, we’ll take care of you like we always do. Like you always do for us.”

My brother’s words warmed my heart. I knew my family loved me. It was one of the core reasons why I was built so tough. But despite the light they brought to my life, it was often overshadowed by the need to understand why someone had come along and wasted my time for no reason other than being bored.

I was minding my business, living life the best way I knew how, just to find myself the target of a man who’d done nothing but betray, disrespect, embarrass, and abandon me.

Why?

That was the one question that kept me in constant turmoil. As much as I wanted to forget his entire existence, I knew it wasn’t happening until I got an answer.

The only problem was, I couldn’t legally get within 100 feet of the only person who could give it. Nor did I think I wanted to.

Chapter Eight

JAMES

Growling, I flung the pen in my hand toward the wall in an attempt to release some of the frustration I felt. The black notepad sat next to me, haunting me, as it’d been for the past two hours.

I’d never had this much trouble putting emotions on paper. Hell, it was one of the very few places for me to put them. Something was blocking the flow, making me even more pissed than I already was.

With a shake of my head, I stood, and opened the drawer, sliding the notebook back inside. My stomach growled, reminding me that a nigga hadn’t eaten yet. Something I needed to rectify before my mood grew shittier. Since I didn’t have a maintenance job on the calendar, and Staccato was covered, I was left with a free day to myself.

I thought I’d be spending it immersed in music.

A knock on the door interrupted my trek towards the kitchen. Frowning, I changed course, wondering who the hell was popping up at my crib without calling or texting me first.

One look at my ring camera revealed all I needed to know.

“Boy, I know you’re on the other side of this door. Now, open it.”

Grinning, I flipped the lock, and the knob. “You swear you know everything,” I commented, taunting the petite woman standing on my porch.

“I know the next time I’ll use my key instead of knocking. Get on out of my way, now.”

Pushing me aside, my mother propelled herself inside my home like the tornado that she was. At 5’5, she was tiny in comparison to me, but a force to be reckoned with. She had to be to have put up with my father for so long.

As she shrugged out of her coat, I took note of how much happier she looked than the last time I saw her. Her skin, the color of rich coffee, was glowing. The smile that touched her face was genuine, and her demeanor overall was exultant. It was contagious as hell.

“What you doing here, old lady?”

Sinking onto the couch, my mom crossed her legs, shooting me a glare. “Watch your mouth. I finally managed to wrangle what’s going on with you out of your brother. And before you get upset with him, he put up a fight. It took a hell of a lot longer to break him than it typically does. I figured I had a better chance of stopping by to talk to you about things instead of calling.”

Grunting, I sat a few feet away from her. “Honestly, Ma, there’s nothing to talk about. Kinsley broke up with me. That’s that.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, folding her arms.

“Hmm, what?”

“I see that man whom I procreated with still has his hooks in you.”

“Pop doesn’t have anything to do with⁠—”

“That man has everything to do with the line you just fed me. You spent a number of years with this woman. There’s history there that you can’t just cover up with ‘it is what it is’. I know my child, so I’m sure you’ve said it any time the subject comes up.”