Page 57

More people arrived, their vehicles piling into the clearing. I needed a moment away, so I opted for a cold plunge in the stream.

I removed my clothes, revealing a red bikini then laid against the mild current and sunk below the water. I stayed there, breath held as the world became unclear. Heat traveled across my body as the thought of Kane still lingered, whether from anger or craving, I didn’t know.

After a few seconds, I lifted my head from the water. The embankment was filled with people from our class. Where would they all end up in a few years? The question was curious. Everyone promised one another something, but when the moment arrived to cross the stage, the reality was far different.

I wished I didn’t have all of this information poking through the squishy membranes of my brain. Wouldn’t that be interesting? To just be able to sit with nothing? The empty darkness of my mind. I wanted to experience that someday.

I thought about Ash and I attending Archmouth after graduation. Would Kane be mad? It wasn’t like I truly had anything holding me back here. The gloomy northwest had only been enjoyable when he was around. I told myself I would miss the rainy days eating on the patio, watching the distant thunderstorms roll in like puppets manned by the gods. I’d lean against the walls, Kane working through something in his notebook and my head dipped in my own stories. At night we’d enter into the forest behind the house, searching for any and everything. No words really spoken between us.

It’s what made it all the more bearable with the move.

I spread my arms out in the water, hoping to float a little way down the stream, carrying me and my whirlpool mind along with it.

Ash spotted me from a distance. A wild grin spread across his face as he reached for the hem of his shirt before pulling it off swiftly and running towards the water. I knew what was coming. He skidded in and ran toward me and scooped me up. I wrapped both legs around him, anchoring myself there as he twirled us.

“Sara Wren, ditching the party already?” He peered up at me as his hold tightened around my thighs. Droplets of water raced down our bodies as I wrapped my arms around his neck for support, and peered down at the boy filled with sunshine on the inside but carried darkness on the outside.

He was the exact opposite of Kane. Kane was all darkness, no light.

Ash lowered me back into the water, reaching to move the tendrils of my dark hair aside. The movement triggered butterflies inside my stomach, but they weren’t the burning inferno that came alive when Kane touched me.

What was a girl like me always chasing?

I surveyed the forest and then up to the stars. Despite the proximity of the alluring boy holding on to me, I was interested in whether or not he was staring up at stars. Was he wondering about where I was or what I’d been doing?

“Saraaaaa,” Ash singsonged as he flicked water towards my face.

“I didn’t feel like socializing.” I shrugged.

He allowed me to slip from his hold and back into the cool water.

“You’re always lost to your mind. One day you’ll need to be more present,” Ash chastised.

I took the beer from him forcefully. “I didn’t know you were so philosophical.”

“Philosophical? No. Practical? Yes.” He laughed.

Ash reminded me of Kane in a purely coincidental way, golden brown skin, dark hair, and a dazzling smile. That’s the most they had in common, whereas Kane’s ocean eyes reflected the depths of his internal conflict. Ash’s deep copper eyes spoke of joy, cozy mornings and the nostalgia of a late summer afternoon.

Ash was also emotionally available.

I decided there, lost in the thoughts of another boy and the what-if’s he would never answer, that I would put myself first. I closed the gap between Ash and myself, wrapping my arms around his neck. A smile danced across his lips, and soon his sharp canines were all I could see.

“We should be making memories this summer, little bird.” He leaned his head against mine.

In the background, the music had changed to a soft melody. Ash began to sway with me in the water, in a way that felt as fitting as a puzzle piece.

A slew of giggles escaped my lips, and my worries dissipated as we traipsed around the shallow water, completely forgetting the cold sticking to our skin.

“Make me remember, Ash Valen.” I leaned my head against his collarbone and whispered into his chest.

Above, I could have sworn the stars winked.

TWENTY-SEVEN

September 26, 2010

“Below the soil their souls roam