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She grabbed her purse and walked towards the door and left. I locked the door behind her and stood there with my forehead pressed against it. When I turned around, Kaiden was standing at the bottom of the steps. His face told me he heard everything.

“Why does everybody keep leaving us?” Kaiden’s voice broke down.

All I could do was grab him and let him cry. I had to go through this grieving process with my children all over again. Q left me with two children who had to grieve someone they loved while learning that the same person helped take their father away. It wasn’t until now that I understood exactly why Kyenna had to pull that trigger. I still wasn’t ready to forgive her for doing it. But I understood why it had to be done.

CHAPTER 39

SHAMEEK

“You damn well should’ve told me about that shit,” I told Kyenna.

“I wanted to handle it on my own. It’s been two weeks, Shameek. Can we please move the fuck on? Just like you told me to move on about the Nikki situation.”

Just speaking her name still made my heart sting. After talking to the detectives, I was cleared as a suspect. Her body was still missing, and her flyers were still up all over the city. I still called and kept getting updates from her family. Whatever I had to do to keep them off me, I was doing. I had to meet them at her house later to clear out the house. I was really going to see if her ass had left anything. I know I had my boy do a sweep, but me putting my eyes on things one final time would clear my head.

Since Kyenna had pulled the trigger on Q, I was watching her ass closely. The shit scared me a little bit. She was acting normal, and that wasn’t something I was used to seeing from a woman. Kyenna would get up, go to work, and handle business like normal. Any time I tried to bring up Rah, she would shut it down. That bothered me a little bit. Before Q died, she asked questions about every new piece of information. Now, she had nothing to say. I didn’t know if Q had told her enough to satisfy her or if killing him had made her back away from investigating any further. Either way, I wasn’t asking too many questions.

“I gotta go help Nikki’s family clear this house out. I’ll see you at dinner tonight,” I said, kissing her on the lips.

“Meek, don’t be late. I don’t want to be sitting there by myself, and this is supposed to be an us thing.”

“I got you, baby.”

My mama had been doing family dinner every other Sunday since we were kids. Nobody had to show up every time, but when she said everybody needed to be there, we knew not to argue unless you wanted your phone blown up for the next few days. Tonight was one of those nights. The difference was Kyenna, and I had agreed we were done hiding. That had been her decision more than mine. I was ready to stop sneaking months ago. She was the one worried about how everybody would take it so soon after Rah’s death.

This was my first time back at Nikki’s since that night. I wasn’t avoiding the place; it was just in me not to revisit the scene of a crime. Her oldest sister, mom, and aunt was already here. When I walked inside, they had boxes piled by the door. The furniture was covered and ready for the movers to put it in storage. I fronted the bill for them. I told them it was best to put everything in storage just in case she came home. She would have all of her favorite things. I knew her ass wasn’t coming back, but I had to keep hope alive for family.

“I’m so glad you made it. I packed a few of your things that I found in the closet,” her sister said.

“’Preciate it. What do y’all need me to do?”

“Well, the movers will be here to get everything. I just want you to pack up the kitchen if you don’t mind. She has those high behind cabinets, and me and Mama can’t reach up there.”

“Yeah, I used to fuss at her about climbing on the counter to get plates down,” I joked.

My heart skipped a beat when I walked into the kitchen. My eyes went straight to where her body lay. As I stood there, I could still see her ass lying there. The whole conversation was replayed in my mind. How she sat across from me and cried because I was taking up for Kyenna and not thinking about how it affected her. I swallowed hard and walked into the kitchen. This was the same kitchen where we sat and enjoyed dinner. I opened the cabinet and pulled down her favorite wine glass. This shit was really fucking with me, but I had to keep a straight face. It was like she was standing in the corner, shaking her head at me for faking this shit in front of her family. I shook the shit off because I had other things to do today.

Nikki had crossed a line that night, and as bad as I felt about pulling the trigger on her, I would do that shit again. It was just some shit you didn’t do in the business that I was in. Kyenna was raised by a street nigga, so she knew the lines not to cross. Nikki came from a wholesome family and didn’t know that holding shit over a nigga head would get her ass killed. As long as she had fucked with me, I thought she would have learned the code. I kind of felt like it was my fault that I didn’t teach her more. Clearing the kitchen out took me about an hour. By then, the movers had made it. The rest of the house was packed up and ready to go. I did one final walk-through before saying my goodbyes to the family and grabbing my box with my belongings in it.

I headed home to shower and prepare for dinner with my family. Being at Nikki’s today was my final goodbye to her, and I didn’t realize how much I needed it. The heaviness I was feeling was gone, and my mind was clear and ready for whatever tonight had to bring. It was a little after six, and Kyenna had sent a text.

Ky: Where are you?

Me: About to hop on the cart and pull around.

Kyenna and Jaharee were both pulling up at the same time as me. The first thing she did was look at both of us. When Jaharee turned her back to walk in front of us, I slapped Kyenna on the ass. My mama was helping the chef take food to the table. Family dinners used to be loud as hell. Rah would dominate half the conversation without trying. Jaharee would argue with him about any little thing. Since Rah died, dinners had gotten quieter. His empty chair had stopped feeling like something everybody was avoiding looking at. Tonight, I was noticing everything. It probably had something to do with what I was about to say.

My Pops blessed the food, and everybody fixed their plates. For the first ten minutes, dinner was normal. Jaharee talked about some issues she was having with a vendor. I ate and waited. Sitting across from Kyenna was intentional. Had I sat next to her, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off her. She looked at me twice. The second time, I knew she was telling me to go ahead. I cleared my throat. Jaharee immediately looked at me.

“Why you clearing your throat like you finna make an announcement?”

“Because I am. Now mind yo’ business.”

My mama stopped cutting her chicken, and my Pops looked up.

Jaharee smiled. “I knew it.”

“Can I speak before you start?”