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“I ain’t said nothing,” Jaharee said.
“Me and Kyenna been seeing each other,” I said.
The whole table was silent. It was like everyone was trying to see who was going to speak first.
“I fucking knew it.”
“Watch your mouth at my table,” my mama said.
Pops looked between Kyenna and me.
“A little while now,” Kyenna answered.
“So, months,” Jaharee added.
“Do you want to tell the story?” Kyenna asked, looking at Jaharee.
“No, I just want accurate information, heifer.”
“This is why I didn’t tell you first.”
My mama still hadn't said anything. That was the only person at the table I was watching. Kyenna noticed too. She put her fork down.
“Ms. Lorraine, I want you to say whatever you need to say. I don’t want this sitting weird between us,” Kyenna told her.
“I’m trying to figure out what I need to say,” my mama responded.
“That’s fair.”
“Did you love my son?”
“I did,” she said. “I always will.”
My mama nodded slowly and then turned her head towards me. “And you loved your brother?”
“I still do.”
“Then I need both of y’all to understand why this is strange for me before you think I’m judging you.”
“I understand,” Kyenna said.
“I watched you marry one of my sons. I watched y’all build a life together. He was crazy about you, and you were crazy about him. Then I had to watch you bury him. Now you’re sitting at my table telling me you and my other son are together.” My mama paused for a second before speaking again. “What I need to know is whether this is real or whether both of y’all are holding onto each other because Rah ain’t here.”
Kyenna looked at me before answering. “I’ve asked myself that more times than you know.”
“And?”
“It’s real,” Kyenna said. “I fought it. I felt guilty about it too. I told myself it was grief and I was lonely. But there came a point where I had to stop blaming Rah’s death for feelings I was having while I was very aware of what I was doing. Shameek may get on my nerves with his possessiveness and hard head. He also thinks that whatever he says is law.”
Pops laughed. “That’s a King man for you.”
“Shameek also shows up. Every time I call. He makes me feel protected and safe. He listens when I force him to. He makes me laugh when I want to cry. So, it’s real.”
“I don’t want either of you feeling like you need my permission. You’re grown. Rah is gone, and as much as I wish I could change that, I can’t. Life does keep moving,” my mama said.
“And I don’t care who you love as long as you don’t bring chaos to my house,” my Pops said.
“That’s all you got to say?” Jaharee asked our Pops.