Page 4

I looked up at her and back down at the dried blood under my nails. She was standing here talking about grieving and that’s exactly what the fuck I was doing. She walked by me and let the water out of the tub and then walked to the shower and turned it on. She then came and kneeled in front of me.

“Kyenna, for me, please.” She stood up and held her hands out to help me up.

I let her help me up and get me out of his hoodie. When she walked out, I stripped out of the pajamas I had on with the hoodie and got in the shower. For a minute, I just stood there. My thoughts weren’t anywhere in particular, just staring. Knowing that my husband would never make love to me again in this shower, or being able to be there for his kids, hit me hard. After I took a bath, his mama had a glass of water and a sleeping pill waiting for me.

“Have y’all heard anything?” I asked.

“Not yet. I promise you will be the first to know anything. You know I would never keep anything from you. What I need you to do is try to get at least an hour of sleep. Can you do that for me?”

“I’ll try, but if you hear anything while I’m asleep, please wake me up.”

“I will, Kyenna. I promise,” she said, and helped me get in bed after I swallowed the pill.

She closed the door behind her. I laid there hoping the pill would help me rest. I knew damn well it wouldn’t. Who could sleep after losing the love of their life? All I could think about was who would do this to him. Rah was good to everyone. He made sure no one felt left out. There were times I had to get on to him for just giving money away. The local football teams were able to get new cleats and uniforms because of my husband.

I turned to the other side where my cell phone sat on his pillow. Thanks to my mother-in-law, she had cleaned his blood off my phone. My heart was telling me to leave it there, but my emotions wanted to see what everyone was saying. It had been hours and I knew the city was aware of what happened. The first place I looked was social media. Sure enough, bitches were already saying rest in peace. Hated when folks didn’t let the family do the announcement before they had to be the first to say something.

The tears hit my pillow as I read the comments under his last post. He was posted with Shameek doing their secret handshake. It didn’t take me long to start balling. My pillow was soaked, so I grabbed his pillow and that didn’t make shit any better. All I could smell was him. I threw the cover off and sat on the side of the bed. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep, so I threw on a robe. When I opened the door to my bedroom, the doorbell chimed. As I made it to the bottom step, I came face to face with Averie, Rah’s baby mama. Her eyes were just as red as mine.

“Where my kid’s daddy?”

Any other time, I would’ve rolled my eyes at such a dumb question. Considering the circumstances we were in, we all thought it was a dream. Shameek approached both of us.

“He’s gone, Averie.”

Her eyes darted over to me. As his wife, it had slipped my mind to call. Shit, I was still in shock that I found him.

“I never got to say goodbye. The last thing we said to each other was we would see each other tomorrow to exchange the kids.”

“Come on. Both of y’all,” Shameek said.

As he walked us both to the den area, the door flew open. My peace was now out the door as soon as I saw the bitch face. Raya, Rah’s mistake fuck. The bitch he had a baby with while married to me. Still to this day, I hated this bitch, and their baby was three years old. I gave her my husband and put his ass out. He hated her ass as much as I did. Never understood niggas fully. Rah enjoyed it until she got pregnant, and her true colors started to show.

“Who killed my baby daddy? And bitch why didn’t you call us? You’re selfish and wanted him all to yourself. Now what am I supposed to do?” she shouted.

“You better get that bitch out of here,” I told Shameek.

“She is right. Why didn’t you call us?” Averie asked.

If Rah wasn’t already dead, I would’ve killed him for putting me in the middle of this shit. I hated for drama to hit my doorstep. After Rah begged his way back two years ago, I hadn't seen these bitches or heard their voice. He made sure where I stood was safe. If I was going with him anywhere, they need not to show up. They weren’t even allowed to touch my doorstep. Averie and I never had beef because she was years before me. I also understood their chemistry.

“None of this is her fault. Damn! She’s the one that found him. Can we not do this right now?” Shameek said. “My muthafuckin’ brother is dead. I don’t need this fuckin’ shit between y’all right now.”

I walked off and left their ass standing there. Shameek could escort them to the den where the rest of the family was. When I laid eyes on my daddy, I headed straight for him and fell into his arms.

“I got you, Baby. I’m so sorry.”

Shameek walked over to us.

“Sis, my bad for that shit. I’ll keep them away from you. Let’s just get my brother in the ground so we can figure out who the fuck did this.”

Day of the funeral…

A week had gone by, and I was finally putting my man to rest. The journey here had been tiring. From fussing with the baby mamas about their kids, shutting down Royal Flush until further notice, and dealing with my own grief was hard. When I got the obituaries made, I did not include his baby mama’s. I included all three of his children. That was a whole argument because they felt like they should’ve been in there. For what? He never claimed Raya and Averie were ex-girlfriends.

I sat on the front row with my hat low over my eyes. My daddy sat on the side of me, holding my hand. My legs were too weak to walk in with the family. I sat there looking at Rah laying there peacefully while I lived on without him. Once the family started walking in, I prepared myself for any mess that was going to start. As far as I knew, Rah didn’t have any secrets. Averie walked to the casket with their twelve-year-old son, Kaiden, and eight-year-old daughter, Khari. My heart broke watching them both kiss him.

Khari and I were really close. She was like my little best friend. Averie wasn’t a fan of it. She kept that baby away from me since Rah died. Kaiden hated my guts because he blamed me for his daddy leaving them. Rah and Averie were over before I came into the picture by at least a year. Khari was already one when I started dating Rah. Still, I respected that he didn’t like me. When he was at the house, I gave him space. I made sure he ate and his clothes were clean before he went back to his mama’s house.