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Raya and Ryleigh came right after. She was three years old and was clueless at what was going on. All she knew was daddy wasn’t coming back, and he was asleep. She was the baby I had to get used to. At first it was hard to look at her because she looked just like Rah. It only reminded me of what he had done during our marriage. As a woman, I had to realize that it was not the baby’s fault that her parents were careless. She had since become my little baby.

“You promised you weren’t leaving me with this baby.”

I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer. Averie got up and grabbed Raya.

“This not about you,” she said.

“The fuck it ain’t! My daughter ain’t got no daddy now.”

“Neither do mine,” Averie told her.

“See, this is why you don’t have babies everywhere,” someone behind me said.

“You got the house, money, and the ring.” Raya cried. “What the fuck my baby got?”

She had a valid question. I stood up and walked towards her. Everyone probably thought I was going to beat her ass. Instead, I took my wedding ring off and held it out.

“You think this means I won?” I asked, as the tears fell from my eyes. “You want it that bad, take it.”

Raya stood there in disbelief as my daddy and security stood behind me.

“Because I’d trade every dollar, house, and car just to hear my husband argue with me one more damn time.”

The church was silent. I sat back for a week and let everyone do and say what they wanted. My mind and body were tired. Rah was gone and there was nothing any of us could do about the shit. I wasn’t about to argue about material things. His kids were in his will. Whatever they wanted when it came to me, they could have. Shameek walked up behind me and picked up my ring.

“My brother put this ring on yo’ finger. It stays there,” he said, placing the ring back on my finger.

“That’s her problem. Y’all baby her,” Raya said.

“Aye…anybody got a problem with Kyenna…got a problem with me.”

“Is she going to run the Flush?” a guy asked.

Again, the church went silent. That was the burning question everyone wanted to know. This was the wrong place and wrong time.

“Get the fuck out,” Shameek told him.

My father-in-law had enough. He stood up and nodded for the security to remove the guy. Even street shit didn’t stop for a funeral. I just wanted to go home and sleep this off. Once everyone was back in their seats, the service went on. I made the program, and I couldn’t tell you a damn thing that happened. My mind wasn’t here as I stared at my husband. I wasn’t even able to give my husband any children. Slightly, I turned my head to look down the aisle at his kids. Though I loved them, biologically they weren’t mine. After today, there was no telling when the next time I would see them.

It wasn’t until my daddy tapped me that I realized that they were rolling my husband out of the church. Seeing his black and gold casket rolling by me made my heart stop. I squeezed my daddy’s hand and took a deep breath as I stood up to walk behind the security. Behind me, were the rest of the family. Because of the tension, I got in the car alone. I did ask if the kids could ride with me, but both of the mamas said no. My heart was broken and not being able to have a piece of Rah, which was his kids was making it worse. As soon as we pulled up to the graveyard, it started pouring down.

“I hate this shit.” I stared out the window.

“I know. Just a little while longer,” my daddy reassured me.

My daddy had been in my life since I came out of my mama. My daddy ran three gambling houses back in the day. He met my mama who was the local whore. She slept with all the niggas as long as she got her bills paid and wore the newest Coogi outfit. My daddy would tell me how much he loved that woman, but she loved money more. Once she had me, she dropped my ass off and took her ass on to the next dick. Occasionally, I would run into her. I had no hate in my heart for her. She did what was right by leaving me in the hands of my daddy.

She was driving a car as nice as mine. Her clothes were designer and she looked good with her old rich ass husband. My mama finally struck the gold she was looking for. The sad thing is that my daddy had just as much money back then. He just had to start hiding it when the Feds started sniffing. When it came to numbers and running cards, I learned that at an early age. My daddy didn’t raise me to be green. Though I knew the game and the streets, he taught me how to be a lady. How to dress and not show niggas too much. He didn’t want me to turn into the woman he fell in love with, and I understood that.

My daddy hadn't fallen for another woman since. He had his lady friends that would come and visit for a day or two, but after that, they had to go. I was thankful for him. There was never a time that I needed him, and he didn’t show up. He tried to step back when I married Rah. That shifted as soon as Rah cheated. My daddy was back on the scene to let his ass know, no matter how powerful he was, when it came to me, he would put his ass in the dirt. Shit, now I was feeling stupid for taking him back. The security came and opened the door with a black umbrella.

I asked the pastor to make this part quick. No one should watch the person they loved go into the dirt. Ryleigh was able to get loose from her mama and run up to me. As soon as her little hand touched me, I broke down. I tried to pick her up and put her on my lap, but her mama snatched her away from me.

“Raya, I would hate to take you to court ‘bout my granddaughter. Everyone out here knows yo’ ass won’t win. Snatch her the fuck again and see what happens. That lil’ girl loves Kyenna, and Kyenna loves her,” Pops said.

Jaharee handed me a tissue. Any other day, I would’ve never let this bitch get under my skin like this. My daddy raised a lady, but I knew how to slap the fuck out of a bitch. Once the pastor got done, me and the kids released doves. It was hard to do so with the rain, but we had already paid for them and they needed to be released. With security surrounding me, Averie approached.

“I don’t want to start drama because, unlike Raya, I have a lot to lose. I do want to tell you to your face that it’s fucked up you didn’t call us.”