Page 53

I had six missed calls and three text messages. One from Grif, my daddy, and my mother-in-law. Lloyd had called me six times, but I wasn’t in the mood. He had become a good distraction from the grief, but today belonged to me and Rah. I was sure Grif and Royal Flush could survive a day without me. That was my reason for hiring more managers that were on the same time I was on. I turned the phone over and laid it back on the nightstand. Today just wasn’t one of the days that I felt like being a boss, let alone human.

I slowly climbed out of bed and went into my bathroom. After using the bathroom and washing my hands, all I could do was look at myself in the mirror. I ran my hands across my face as I turned on the shower. Usually, when I was in a funk, I couldn’t wash my ass, let alone brush my teeth. I didn’t want to do that today. It was my anniversary, and I wanted to act like Rah was still here. After my shower, I did my skincare and fixed my hair. I then went to my closet and put on something cute and sprayed some perfume on. All this time, I kept his closet closed, but today I walked over to it, opened it and, stepped inside. My fingers brushed across one of his suits. I buried my face in it and closed my eyes. The smell was almost gone. That shit hurt more than I was prepared for.

“Happy Anniversary, baby,” I whispered into the suit.

My voice cracked before I could finish the sentence. I closed the closet and stood there with my back to the door, slowly breathing and trying not to break down. I walked downstairs thinking I was going to drink some coffee or put something on my stomach, but my appetite was gone. I walked into our family room and started pulling out all my cards from previous anniversaries. I sat there for hours going through cards. Then I walked to his office and just sat there.

“I can’t believe this is how you left me. How the fuck am I supposed to move on?” I questioned out loud.

I looked on his bookshelf, and there was a box with a bow on it. Curiosity got the best of me, so I got up to see what it was, and it had my name on it. I opened the box to see a big ass diamond ring. It was a carat for every year we had been married. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as I slipped the old ring off and put the new one on. My phone went off in my pocket.

Daddy: I’ve called you all morning. I know today is hard for you and I need to hear your voice to know you are okay. Call me or send a nigga an emoji.

I hearted the message hoping my daddy would leave me alone.

Daddy: Do I need to come by

I gave him a thumbs down.

Daddy: Regardless I’m coming tomorrow. Take today baby girl. Happy Anniversary

I put the phone back in my pocket and picked up my old ring to go and put it in my jewelry box.

Before I knew it, hours had gone by. The house was dark, and I was two wine bottles in as I sat on the floor in our dining room with nothing on but the small light coming from the floor. I had ignored everyone who had come to the door today. I let security know not to let anyone in. I didn’t want anyone seeing me like this. Since taking over Flush months ago, I had taken on another aura, and right now, I was weak. Pops had stopped by. My mother-in-law had stopped by with food that was still sitting on my porch. Jaharee had stopped trying to get me out of the house for a girls’ day. I wasn’t feeling any of it. The doorbell went off for the fourth time today. I ignored it, hoping that security would turn whoever it was away. Then my phone started ringing. Then a text. I never budged. I just took a swig of my warm wine.

For hours I sat in this spot replaying my marriage. What I could’ve done differently and how things would be today. The beating at the door startled me, but it was not enough for me to want to get up and see who it was. Pops paid good money for my security. I’m sure eventually they would get tired of me ignoring them. To my surprise, my front door opened. Still, I didn’t move. Security was the only one with the code.

“I thought I told y’all muthafuckas I didn’t want company today!” I yelled.

It was silence, but I could hear the footsteps. Rah would be so mad at me because I didn’t reach for my gun. If it was my time, then fuck it. I would be back with my man.

“Kyenna!”

I rolled my eyes as soon as I heard Shameek’s voice.

“Meek, I’m not in the mood.”

He flipped the light on, and my eyes started burning.

“You got everybody worried. My mama losin’ her shit, bruh.”

“I’m fine. Just needed the day to myself.”

“They said you ain’t answerin’ yo’ phone.”

“I’m not.” I shrugged, pouring another glass of wine.

“Meek, one day. Just one day, okay. I don’t want to be nobody’s boss, daughter, nothing. Today, I just want to be Rah’s fucking wife.”

Shameek didn’t say anything. He just came and took a seat next to me on the floor. The silence was loud between us.

“I’m angry, Meek. It’s like y’all going on with y’all lives and not trying to find out who done the shit. Meanwhile, I’ve thrown myself into Royal Flush just so I won’t be in this lonely ass house. Your parents keep telling me this shit gets easier, but it has not gotten easier. When birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries come. Then what?”

Shameek just sat there not saying anything.

“It’s been months, and I still reach over, thinking his ass came home late. I still have the chef cook like I’m feeding my man, and it’s just me. I sit up at night waiting for him to walk through the door, and it never happens. Why did they do this? All y’all tell me is you’re working on finding out who done it. I’m so fucking tired of hearing that.”

“Kyenna, you are not alone. I really am tryin’. This shit was an inside job, and niggas lips are sealed. If you don’t think I want revenge for my brother, you don’t kno’ me that well.”