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“Meek, I can’t do another anniversary without him. What am I supposed to do when his birthday comes, or mine? And the kids. What am I supposed to do? I’m alone in this shit.”

“That’s why we’re here. My family has never left you out of anything. You’ll forever be a part of us. You vowed to Rah, and we’re vowed to you.”

Shameek pulled me in and let me cry. This was the first time that I had been vulnerable since that day. I hated anyone seeing me like this. After I had soaked his shirt, I felt bad.

“I’m sorry,” I said, wiping my face. “Let me get you one of Rah’s shirts. I don’t want Nikki thinking you were out cheating.”

“Nah, it’s cool. She’s not stayin’ over tonight.”

“Well, still let me go grab you a shirt. Hold on,” I said, getting up.

I went upstairs and went through Rah’s drawer where he kept his plain white and black tees. If I hadn’t been around the Kings for so many years, I would’ve questioned why they spent so much damn money on expensive T-shirts when they could get them cheaper.

“Here you go.” I handed Shameek the black shirt.

Shameek took off the white shirt he had on and switched into the black one. I turned my head because for a split second my mind played the cruelest trick on me. Shameek looked too much like Rah. The only difference was Shameek had locs that he loved to keep in twists or up in a bun.

“You kno’ you don’t have to suffer alone,” Shameek said as he handed me the white shirt.

Our hands stayed connected longer than they should have.

“Yeah,” I said, looking at the ground.

Shameek raised my chin. “My sister tried to spend time with you today. My mama came by to eat with you. My Pops stopped by to drop off gifts for you. And then I had to put a gun to yo’ security to put the fuckin’ code in, so I could get in this bitch. We care ‘bout you, Kyenna. We love you. You don’t have to hide your vulnerable side from us. We fucked up ‘bout it too. That’s why we lean on each other.”

I finally looked at him. All I could see was Rah, though. One tear rolled down the corner of my eye. Shameek wiped it, and I grabbed his hand to stop him. We just stared at each other.

“I better get out of here,” he said, breaking the stare.

I tiptoed and kissed him. As soon as our lips connected, I sobered up.

“I’m…I’m sorry, Meek.”

“What the fuck?” he asked in shock.

The way he backed away from me, you would think I was a disease.

“Ky…” He ran both hands over his face.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” I begged.

Shameek took another step backwards.

“I’m sorry.”

“You need to get some sleep. We’ll talk later,” he said, walking off.

I heard the door open and close, and the guilt hit hard as fuck. The room started spinning. I grabbed the edge of the table before everything hit me at once.

“Oh, God!” I barely made it to the kitchen sink before I started throwing up.

When it was over, I slid down the cabinet until I hit the floor. I scrubbed my lips with the back of my hand until my lips started burning.

“Girl, what the fuck did you just do?”

CHAPTER 16

SHAMEEK