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“Kaiden still talks to Shameek. I’m just not interested in being a part of their family dynamic anymore. I’m allowed to build my own life.”

“You absolutely are. Just make sure the kids aren’t paying the price for you wanting out.”

I got quiet. I hated when somebody told me something I already knew. That was the exact reason I had been avoiding a real conversation with Kaiden. Q walked me to the door and kissed my forehead before opening it.

“Go talk to your son before he stops talking to you altogether.”

“Good night,” I told him.

“Text me when you make it home.”

The entire ride home I thought about what he said. I didn’t regret distancing myself from the Kings. One weekend the kids were over at the compound doing whatever they wanted. The next, I had hired a nanny and started telling everybody we were busy. At the time, it felt like boundaries. Now I wasn’t sure if it looked like punishment. When I walked through the door, the house was quiet. Nia was sitting in the living room watching television with the volume low.

“Hey. How did it go?”

“Everything was fine. Khari went to bed around nine. Kaiden just left the kitchen getting some water. He’s been a little moody today.”

“I figured. You can head home. I got it from here.”

She gathered her things while I took my heels off near the stairs. Once she left, I went upstairs and stopped outside of Kaiden’s bedroom. His light was still on underneath the door. I knocked twice before pushing the door open. He was sitting against the headboard with his laptop open and headphones around his neck.

“You got a minute to talk with your mama?”

“Yes,” he said, closing his laptop.

“You’ve been acting different with me lately. I figured you would come to me when you were ready, but I don’t like the way things feel between us. If I did something to make you mad, I need you to tell me instead of walking around here holding it in.”

“I don’t understand why we can’t go to the compound and be with daddy’s side of the family.”

“You can see them.”

“No, Mama. We’re only allowed FaceTime calls. That’s not the same. Uncle Meek asked me if I wanted to go to a game with him, and you said I was busy. I wasn’t busy. I was just sitting there. Khari asked if she could go see Kyenna and get her nails done. You told her no. Grandma came over, and Ms. Nia wouldn’t answer the door.”

My throat became dry as he was naming off the shit I’d done.

“Those were decisions I made because I needed some time and space from everything. It wasn’t because I wanted to hurt you or your sister.”

“You needed distance. We didn’t.”

“Listen to me.” I grabbed his hand. “I would never intentionally take your family away from you. I was so caught up in trying to figure out how to have a life outside of your daddy, that I didn’t stop to think about what it would do to y’all. That was wrong, and I’m sorry.”

“Is it because of your boyfriend?”

“Partly.”

“Then I don’t like him.”

“Hold on. He never told me to stop dealing with your family. Actually, it was him who told me the exact opposite.”

“You spend all your time with him.”

“I have been spending a lot of time with him. I like him, Kaiden. I’m allowed to have something outside of being your mama and going to work. That doesn’t mean you and Khari are less important.”

“That’s how it feels, though.”

“Then I’ll fix it. And I’ll call your uncle tomorrow and work something out. Is that okay?”

Kaiden leaned over and hugged me. The tears I had been holding back came falling down.