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“I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay.”

I had to stop acting like choosing a new life meant I had to destroy the old one. After talking to Kaiden, I walked in my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed before pulling my phone out and dialing Shameek’s number.

“Averie, before you start wit’ whatever shit you been on lately, let me say this. I have respected the fact that they yo’ kids, but you not finna keep my nephew and niece away from us ‘cause you woke up one day and decided you wanted to fuck on another nigga.”

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Of course, Shameek was going to call me on my shit.

“I’m not calling to argue. I actually do agree with you,” I said.

“Come again.”

“I said I was wrong, Shameek. The cold turkey cut off was uncalled for. I needed some space, but I shouldn’t have taken the kids from y’all. Kaiden wants to spend a few days with his grandparents and I’m sure Khari is going to pack her whole damn room the second I tell her.”

“I can pick them up tomorrow after school. And before you ask, yeah, they probably gone see everybody. My mama already been asking for them, Jaharee misses them, Pops acting like he don’t care, but we kno’ his ass do. And Kyenna–.”

“I know,” I interrupted. “She misses Khari, and Khari misses her, too. If the kids want to see her, let them.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

“Good night, Shameek.”

“Night,” he said, hanging up.

CHAPTER 22

SHAMEEK

Spending the last few days with my nieces and nephew was what I needed. They spent three days with us and the whole time Kyenna was avoiding me. I got that she didn’t want to make things weird while the kids were on the compound. Hell, she took Khari and Ryleigh and hauled ass for a whole day. Then dropped Khari off at my parents’, and her and Ryleigh went to her place. She didn’t say shit else for a whole day. I left the shit alone. I dropped the kids off at home and had now been at Nikki’s house for the last two hours. My mind was so clouded that I couldn’t tell you what the fuck she had said since I’d been here.

Normally, when I came over here, especially after we had been going through one of our rough patches, I made an effort to actually be present. Nikki could tell when my head was somewhere else. She knew my facial expressions and the way I got quiet. After dealing with me for years, she had learned most of my habits. Tonight, I was trying my best not to give her another one to study. She had cooked, poured us one of her fruity ass drinks, and put on a movie she swore I needed to watch. I was stretched across the sofa with my arm around her while she leaned on me, but my mind was going back to Kyenna.

The sound of her moaning my name had been stuck in my head since that night. I could be checking numbers at the warehouse and suddenly remember the way her legs shook. The way her skin felt in my hands and the perfume would come back to me out of nowhere. Soft as hell. Sweet without smelling childish with a touch of musk underneath, stayed on my clothes until I dropped that suit off to the cleaners. I didn’t even rush and brush my teeth that night because I just wanted to sniff my beard. That’s how I knew I had a problem. Nikki shifted beside me and looked up.

“You haven’t laughed once, and this is supposed to be funny,” she said.

I looked towards the television like I had been watching it the whole time.

“I’m payin’ attention.”

“No, you’re sitting here and you’re spaced out.”

I rubbed my hand down her arm to reassure her.

“I got a lot on my mind, baby. I’m still here wit’ you, though. I could’ve stayed home or went to handle business, but I wanted to come see you.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about, Shameek. You always being with me sounds like you squeezed me in between everything else you would rather be doing.”

I sighed because I could tell where this shit was headed.

“Nikki, I didn’t say that. Don’t twist my words because you’re already irritated. I said I have shit on my mind and still wanted to spend time wit’ you. That should mean somethin’.”

“It used to.”

Nikki pulled herself away from me and sat on the other end of the sofa.

“You know what I’ve realized? I spend more time trying to get your attention than actually having it. You’ll buy me something, come over, and we fuck. You lay around for a day or two and then the second your phone goes off, or your family needs something, I disappear.”