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“And then there’s the angels with the flaming swords on the east side of the garden, which is clearly a reference to the volcanic activity in the Danakil Depression to the east of...”

I stopped reading.

He sent like ten more texts with all sorts of odd things about Herodotus and Macrobia and the Fountain of Youth obviously being giant bathing pools of ethyl.

“We get it,” I texted back. “Coffee plants for the win. Thank you.”

“Great,” he responded. “Have fun tonight. Just don’t let the monkeys out. They were being testy.”

Scarlett lifted her head. “Wait. There are monkeys in here? Where are they?”

“Hopefully not already out,” I said with a laugh.

The door opened and Axel, Jacob, and RJ walked in. Fully dressed.

“What the hell?” I said. “Where are your costumes?”

Axel ignored me as he took in the room. “Mr. Nigel really is a boss.”

“And so is my abuelo,” Jacob said. “This is awesome.”

“Hey,” I said. “Focus. Costumes required.”

Axel ignored me and pulled Scarlett into a searing kiss. “You look amazing.”

Her cheeks turned red. “Thanks. But...yeah...where is your costume?”

“We couldn’t exactly walk around the city in nothing but our boxers.”

“I wanted to,” RJ said. “But when they picked me up Axel made me put on pants before I got in his car.”

I laughed. “Fair. Everyone take it off. I’ll get us shots.” I walked over to where Mr. Tanner had set up the bar. All with top shelf liquor. He’d really spoiled us. I grabbed a bottle of tequila and poured out six shots.

“Wait,” I said. “Where is Liam?”

Scarlett frowned. “I don’t know. Let me call him.” She hit his number in her phone and then we all heard a ringing sound.

Coming from Natalivanka’s mom’s room.

“Is Natalivanka here?” I asked.

Scarlett shrugged. “I never know when she’s in town. Ew. Wait. Does that mean my brother is in there...doing...” She scrunched up her face.

I knocked on the door with my fist. “Liam! Natalivanka! The party is about to start. Get your butts out here.”

“So gross,” Scarlett said and turned away from the door. But then she smiled at Axel, who’d stripped down. “This is a very nice distraction.” She wrapped her arms behind his neck.

All the guys had gone with skin tone boxer briefs with a perfectly placed fig leaf on the front. Hopefully the other guests would come in thongs.

My phone buzzed and I pulled it out. One of the girls that we were setting Jacob up with had just messaged saying she was on her way. We had five hot redheads ready to woo him tonight. All he had to do was take his pick. I slid my phone back in my pocket as Liam emerged from the room.

His hair was sticking out in every direction, and he was adjusting his junk under his fig leaf. Unlike the rest of our friends, he wasn’t wearing boxer briefs. He’d gone ass out. Props to him.

“You guys finally made it,” he said and grabbed the bottle of tequila. He took a big sip.

“Have you already been here pregaming without us?” I asked.

“Pregaming.” He laughed. “If that’s what you want to call it.” He winked at me.