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I want to ask Romana about his wife, about his past, but it would be wrong since it’s not her story to tell.

“I want to tell you what happened between him and Pippa,” she says, as if reading my mind. “But it wouldn’t be right. I’m sure, if Owen feels the need, he’ll tell you in his own time. But I will say this: She broke him, and I’m not sure he’s recovered or if he ever will. She took something from him, more than a wedding band and a marriage certificate. She took his hope. And what’s life without hope?”

She lets the question hang, and I feel the weight of it on my shoulders, and the emptiness the answer leaves me with.

I separate the strands of Dana’s hair so carefully that I almost forget to comb them until a little hand tugs on my arm.

“Can you come and do my hair every day?” she asks, and I smile, hoping it’ll hide the tear that’s formed in the corner of my eye.

31

Owen

Oblivious to the drama that unfolded this evening, Paul’s remained asleep under the kitchen table long after the chilli and cheese were cleared away.

“Come on, old man, time for home,” I try to rouse him as Alice and I enter the kitchen, having sat through half of some animated kids’ film. Between the bright colours, flashing lights, and high-pitched accents of the freakish characters, I’m exhausted.

Paul yawns, stretches out his back legs, and waddles out from underneath the table.

“Thank you so much for having me,” Alice says to Smithy and Romana, who are standing by the kitchen door, a twin restrained under each of their arms.

“You’re welcome anytime,” Romana says with a warm smile.

“Come again. Please come again,” Darcy begs while tangling herself around Smithy’s arm.

“Come tomorrow and brush our hair.” Dana tugs on Alice’s arm.

“I’ll come and see you guys again soon, and I’ll bring Velcro rollers that you can put in my hair,” Alice tells them.

“Cool,” Dana says, seeming to know exactly what Velcro rollers are, which is more than can be said for me.

“It was great to meet you, Alice,” Smithy says. “I’ll call you when the girls’ hair is knotty and I can’t get a comb through it without them screaming the house down.”

“Sure thing.” Alice laughs as we’re ushered to the front door.

As hugs are exchanged and a fuss is made over Paul, who seems to have got off lightly this evening due to the excitement of Alice being here, I can’t help noticing how natural this all feels, like Alice has known these people just as long as I have.

We say nothing as we leave the house and make our way to my car in the fresh night air. Alice settles into the passenger seat with Paul on her knee as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, and I startle a little at how easy this feels.

I put the key in the ignition and then wait for a beat.

Sensing my hesitation, Alice asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah. I just like to take a moment when I leave their house to breathe in the quiet, the calm, and the cleanliness that is my car.”

“Their house isn’t unclean.” She arches her brow.

“No, it isn’t, but it’s just so chaotic, and I don’t just mean with all the things everywhere, but also the people. When you live alone, you get used to being alone, and so when you go somewhere that’s inhabited by more than two people, it feels charged, you know? Busy. I love them. God, I love those people in that house, but I couldn’t live there. Not for one minute.” I breathe deeply, inhaling the pine-scented car freshener hanging from my rear-view mirror.

“I didn’t mind it,” Alice says, stroking the top of Paul’s head and lulling him back into sleep.

And I don’t mean to say it, but it comes out anyway. “Of course you didn’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She leans back, her hand stilling between Paul’s ears.

“I just felt like you belonged there. You were in your element—the fuss, the kids, the chatter. You loved it, and I could tell you loved it.” I’m not sure if my response is laced with sadness or bitterness, but I hope it’s neither.

Alice stares at me. “I like people,” she says at last. “I find them interesting, and I’m always happy to talk to anyone about anything as long as it’s not football.”