Page 49
Sawyer:
It’s forty-five minutes from here. Leaving now.
“Extend your arm all the way.”
Soren demonstrated throwing a punch and hitting the bag in slow motion. I didn’t know what Soren had in mind when I showed up to a mostly empty gym. He gave me a tight hug before feeding me the best bierock I’d ever eaten. After I ate, he showed me the correct form to throw a punch. I tried again, but something was off.
“Here, let me stand behind you.”
Soren walked behind me, his warm, solid body against my back. His hands gripped my hips, adjusting them slightly before he grasped my wrists. Fire ignited in the places he touched and spread throughout my whole body. His breath on my neck made the wisps of hair there flutter. He guided my arm through the motion three times before stepping back, and I immediately missed his touch.
“Okay, try again. Since you’re wearing gloves, it won’t hurt your hand to throw your weight into it.” I punched, mimicking his instruction.
“That’s my girl!” Soren beamed.
“Run through it a few more times and then I’ll show you what I brought for dessert.”
“You have dessert?!” I punched again, hitting the bag with a thud.
“Not just any dessert, but Ronnie hooked me up with some of Mrs. Blake’s fresh chocolate chip cookies with caramel chips.” His brilliant hazel eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, and I never wanted to look away.
“That sounds amazing!” I threw a few more punches, making sure I was hitting with enough force, and extended my body the way he taught me.
“Alright, Muhammad Ali. You can be done for today,” Soren quipped.
“Thanks for showing me how to do that.” I struggled to undo the Velcro on the gloves since my other hand was also covered in a glove. I bit my lip. I couldn’t grasp the elastic strap.
“Here, let me help you.”
Soren reached for my glove, which made me feel engulfed in him when he was this close. His thumb brushed the inside of my wrist, and my breath caught before he moved to my other hand. He appeared unaffected by our nearness, but there was something in me that was slightly lightheaded around him. I remembered when my attraction to him made me want to run, but now I wondered what it’d be like to stay.
Chapter
Thirty-Seven
Soren
I pulled the brown paper bag out and held it so Sawyer could select a cookie after we settled at the table in the corner of the gym.
“Real talk. What made you want to punch something today?” I asked as I leaned back and settled into my seat. What Sawyer didn’t know was I had some questions, and she was not leaving until I got answers. She had circles of exhaustion under her eyes the last two times I’d seen her and I wanted to know why. She bit her lip. One hand held a cookie and the other reached to pull the military tags out of her shirt. She took a deep breath before starting.
“Sometimes I feel like I can’t do enough to help kids. Like no matter what I do, it isn’t enough. Realistically, I know I’m helping, but I wonder sometimes if it really makes a difference. It’s overwhelming sometimes. I mean it always has been, but lately it feels like an uphill battle.”
“What parts feel most overwhelming?” I asked. She bobbed her head from side to side in consideration as she chewed another bite.
“The monumental weight of the issues. It’s not something that can be fixed with one law or one regulation change. Essentially, you’re a hamster on a wheel with no end in sight. Sometimes . . . ” She paused and broke off a piece of cookie. I waited. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears, but she wasn’t looking at me. She set her cookie on a napkin.
“Can we talk about this but you don’t look at me?” She peeked a glance at me. Her cheeks flushed. She steadily rubbed at the tags.
“Sure.” I stood, lifted my chair, flipped it around, and straddled it.
“This good?” I asked as I faced away from her.
“Yeah,” she replied, and I swore I heard her mumble, “I’m such a freak.”
“Sometimes, I don’t function well when I get home from a hard day.” She hesitated, but I waited. “This is embarrassing to say, but most of the days that are rough end with me under my weighted blankets unable to move, and sometimes I think about what Talia said to me.”
“What did Talia say?” I knew she’d been under too much pressure. I could see it in her eyes these last couple of weeks.
