AllFreeNovel Stories worth discovering

Only Ever You

Page 115

by Anastasija White

There are more people now, not just his teammates. Two cheerleaders have joined them. One of them, a blonde with a high ponytail, is saying something to him, leaning in closer than necessary. He laughs at whatever she says.

Something twists in my chest. My jaw ticks. I force myself to look away and focus on my lunchbox instead. It’s stupid. He can talk to whoever he wants.

“It’s…complicated,” I mutter.

“Complicated how?” Dad asks softly.

“Every time he gets close, I find a reason to pull back.”

Because getting close to him feels like standing at center ice in front of the judges before a program, knowing there’s no way to control what happens once the music starts.

“Why?”

I think about the café. About the way he looked at me when he saw me with Diego. About how angry he was. About how hurt he was.

The truth is, I never wanted to hurt him. I just didn’t want to be rude, didn’t want to make things awkward, didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

And still, I ended up disappointing the one person who always mattered the most.

“I don’t know,” I say on an exhale.

Dad stays quiet, giving me time to voice what’s on my mind. I sneak a glance at Michael again, the pit in my stomach only growing. He’s talking to his teammate now, but a cheerleader with blonde hair is still beside him, still too close to him.

“We started talking recently, and things started getting better between us. But I did something stupid a few days ago.”

“Like what?”

I sigh. “Like trying not to upset everyone else.” I tighten my grip around my phone. “I keep telling myself I’m just being nice. Or avoiding drama. Or giving myself time to figure things out.” I swallow, remembering the look on his face when he asked if I was on a date with Diego. “But somehow, he’s always the one getting hurt. Because I don’t know how to set boundaries with people I don’t even care about.”

“You know,” Dad says slowly, “that’s almost exactly what I did.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I was in college, someone got hurt because of me. Or more like because they were too close to me. It broke me, messed me up pretty badly. I carried a lot of guilt, feeling like I ruined this person’s life.” He takes a deep breath. “Years later, when your mom and I were already dating, I got a chance to make things right for this person. I thought I was helping. I thought I was being a good person. I thought I could keep everyone happy. The guilt wasn’t as raw anymore.” His voice gets quieter, and I press my phone to my ear harder, afraid to miss what he has to say. “Turns out, while I was trying to keep everyone happy, while I was trying to be nice, not setting any boundaries…I was hurting your mom instead.”

I lick my parched lips. “Did you…make it right?”

“Uh-huh, but not before I lost her.”

My heart skips a bit at his admission.

“Losing your mom was an eye-opening experience. It also hurt like hell, and the year I spent without her was the worst in my life.” He clears his throat. “If making everyone happy and being nice and not setting boundaries hurts people who matter to you, I don’t think it’s right. It will only lead to you having regrets.”

I peer at Michael. “I think I already have them.”

“Then don’t make the same mistakes I did,” he murmurs.

By the time I finish my conversation, Michael and his teammates are gone.

As I head to my car, I’m lost in my thoughts, considering whether I have time to stop by the rink to visit Coach Gonzalez before I go to the dance studio. I’m a few steps from my driver’s side door when a large frame blocks my path.

Coming to an abrupt stop, I look up.

“Hi.” Diego gives me a sheepish smile, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, clasping the strap of my backpack.

“Can we, um, talk for a second?”