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Colin slowly lowered his glass back to the counter before he’d even taken a sip, drawing his lips into his mouth as he visibly processed what I’d said. “Did you talk to him?”
“No.”
“Okay,” he said finally, his tongue popping out to wet his lips like he was nervous. “He’ll probably try again. You do know that, right?”
I scoffed. “Yeah, I do, but it doesn’t matter how many times he tries. I don’t want to talk to him.”
Colin slowly sat down on the nearest stool, dragging a hand through his hair before finally reaching for his glass again. “He probably just wants to make amends, Holden. It’s your decision whether to allow him to do it or not.”
“That’s going to be a no from me. I’m not interested.”
“You’re his son.”
“Oh, I know. No one ever lets me forget it.”
“Isn’t it a good thing he’s trying to make amends with you?”
I snorted. “No. Why now, huh? Why didn’t he want to make amends when I was sixteen and watching the authorities empty our house? Why not when I was seventeen, trying to figure out why every person I knew was suddenly looking at me like I was carrying a deadly plague?”
“Because now he’s getting out.”
“Exactly,” I agreed. “This is about him, Colin. Everything is always about him. That’s not amends. It’s cowardice. He just wants us to look like a big, happy family when he walks free. He doesn’t want me embarrassing him now that he knows he’s going to have to look me in the face eventually.” I drained the rest of my water and stood. “When the girls get back, please tell Alicia I’ll be at home.”
“Holden—”
“I have midterms starting soon and a ton of studying to do,” I grunted. “As it is, I have the press bullshit to deal with. The Department of Corrections might’ve decided that it’s time to let him out, but I don’t have time to deal with his ego or his needs right now.”
“Okay,” Colin said, rising and following me to the door. “I’ll let Deja know to drop Alicia off at your place.”
“Thank you.”
He was opening his mouth to say something else, but I didn’t stick around to hear it. When I’d told him I had to study, I’d meant it, so I went home, hunkered down, and tried to put my dad out of my head.
With my laptop open in front of me, I read the same paragraph four times before getting up for another glass of water. I tried to decode my notes from class today and went to make a cup of coffee instead. A couple hours later, by the time the front door swung open and Alicia walked in carrying a shopping bag, I’d done a lot of puttering around and absolutely no studying.
My father refused to get the hell out of my head, the course content made no sense, and at this rate, I might as well have been a potato. Barely looking away from the screen when I heard the door swing shut behind her, I refocused on the damn paragraph that’d been refusing to cooperate all afternoon.
“Hi,” I muttered.
“Hey.” She kicked off her shoes when she reached the living room and laid her shopping down gently on the couch. “How’s was your day?”
“Fine. Yours?”
“Yeah. It was fine. Long.” Her eyes drilled holes in the back of my head, but I didn’t look away from the laptop. “How’s the studying going?”
I shrugged. “Fine.”
“Wow, you’re incredibly eloquent today.” She took a few steps closer, not sounding much more chipper than I felt. “Are you okay?”
“Yep,” I lied. “All good. There’s nothing better than getting an unexpected call from a prison to brighten up one’s mood.”
She sucked in a soft breath. “You heard from your dad?”
“No. He called, but I didn’t speak to him.”
“Why not?” she asked.
I finally spun on the chair to arch an eyebrow at her. “Why not? Gee. I don’t know. Maybe because I don’t have anything to say to him.”
