Page 79
Her gaze seemed strangely flat now that I was looking at her, some of her blonde hair that must’ve slipped out of her ponytail just framing her face instead of being pushed behind her ears. I frowned, cocking my head when I realized she was a little pale too.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She shrugged one of her shoulders. “Nothing. What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing, but clearly, something is wrong with you. Just tell me what it is. I can fix it, Alicia.”
“No, you can’t.”
I huffed out a frustrated breath. “Yeah. You’re right, actually. I can’t do anything if I don’t know what’s going on.”
She lifted her chin slightly, those hazel eyes still weirdly dull as they held mine. Almost like some kind of light had sparked out deep inside. “Why didn’t you talk to your dad, Holden?”
“I’m not getting into this with you right now.”
Her eyes flashed. “We’re already in it. I’m not asking you to break down molecular science into three easy to understand sentences for me. All I’m asking is why you didn’t want to speak to your father. Some of us would give anything to receive a call like that.”
“Some of us also had fathers worth speaking to,” I snapped. “I didn’t, okay? I don’t. Can you please just drop it? If you really want to talk about something, why don’t you just tell me what’s wrong with you?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine. I’ll drop it.” I turned back to my laptop. “See, this is how people act when they’re letting go of something you asked them to let go of.”
“Will you please just look at me?” she asked a beat later and I turned, another sharp comment sitting right at the tip of my tongue, but as soon as I was looking at her again, I realized that she seemed exhausted. “I had a bad day, Holden. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I had a really, really shitty day and I realize you’re in a mood, but can you please not take it out on me?”
I felt my shoulders drop as I stared back at her, those protective urges rising up from deep within. “What happened, Alicia?”
She crossed her arms tightly over her chest, averting her gaze as she shook her head. “I’m not allowed to go back to work for now. That’s what happened. I’ve essentially been put on leave until these issues your family is dealing with in the media subside.”
My heart kicked against my ribs. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, so am I.” She held my gaze for another beat before she shook her head and turned away. “I just need some space tonight, okay? Good luck with the studying.”
As I watched her storm upstairs without even looking back at me once, pain radiated through my chest. Her bedroom door snapped shut and it felt like the sound cracked something deep inside me. I’d managed to piss off the one person in my life who made me feel like I wasn’t completely broken, and in the process, I might just have broken her.
Pushing up to my feet, I suddenly realized I needed to get out of here. I needed to walk, and think, and possibly punch something that wouldn’t call the cops, so I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door, but as soon as I pulled it open, I saw Rex across the street.
The old bastard had started decorating. Orange lights had been wrapped around the porch railing, a giant, inflatable skeleton was leaning against the front door, just waiting for its turn to be placed, and a massive, grinning jack-o’-lantern hung from a tree in the center of his yard.
The man himself was on a ladder in front of the porch, attaching an array of lights, and a hot, irrational spike of anger crawled up my spine. Logically, I knew there were only so many days left before the contest would be judged, but with everything else going on, I’d figured I had time.
Just like I’d thought I’d have time before Court got out. Before I’d make Alicia hate me. Before the rest of my family started pressuring me to forgive a father who’d never done anything other than donate his sperm to earn that fucking title.
I knew it made absolutely zero sense whatsoever, but as I looked across that street and saw Rex essentially bringing the spirit of Halloween to life, I lost it, red pulses flashing across my field as vision as I spun around and marched back into the house.
It was time to get to work and I knew exactly where I had to start.
CHAPTER 38
ALICIA
Aloud, mechanical whine coming from somewhere outside yanked me out of a deep, dreamless sleep. I sat bolt upright, blinking hard as I tried to work out what the heck was going on. I’d barely even managed to take a breath when there was a sharp burst of grinding followed by absolute, sudden silence.
I rubbed my eyes, wondering if I’d dreamed the noise, but then the mechanical buzz started up again and I pushed off my blankets to race over to the window. It sounded like someone was trying to saw down a house. Peering into the yard below, I tried to find a source, but from this vantage point, it seemed the noise was coming from the front. Still half asleep, I pulled on a sweatshirt Holden had left in my room at some point and stumbled to my door, shoving my feet into my puffins as I went.
