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“We could’ve, but I thought it might be nice to make it into a quiet weekend for just the two of us. We’ll have to go to the shower tomorrow and dinner tonight, but outside of that, we can do our own thing. Sleep in. Go exploring. Whatever we want.”

She hummed a sound but didn’t say anything—or bring her hands up to mine where they were wrapped around her. For a long minute, I didn’t know what to do next, so I just watched the sailboats and the yachts gliding past the shoreline on the Hudson. I pressed a kiss to her hair and reluctantly let go.

Alicia glanced at me over her shoulder when I took a step back, her head cocking before she finally turned to face me. “What is it?”

“Are we okay?” I asked. “Because it really doesn’t feel like we are.”

“We’re fine,” she said, but it came a beat too late, her eyes just a touch too focused on something behind me. Her arms even came up to cross over her chest again. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“I don’t know, but that wasn’t a very convincing yes.”

She finally looked right at me, but her arms remained tightly crossed and her cheeks were a little ashen now. “We’re okay.”

“Are you feeling sick?” I asked. “You’re looking pale and there’s a pharmacy right down the block. If you need anything, I can⁠—”

“I’m not sick.” She gave me a tired smile and backed toward the bed. “Maybe I just need to lie down a bit.”

As she spun and headed toward it, I thought about going to lie down next to her and pulling her into my arms, but instead, I stayed exactly where I was, terrified touching my own wife might make everything worse.

But maybe I was imagining things. Maybe everything that had happened with the media and the library had rattled her more than I’d realized. There was a possibility that she could really just be exhausted. We could rest this weekend and maybe even come out the other side actually being okay.

For a few hours, I wanted that to be true so badly that I almost believed it, but it all came tumbling down at dinner. At first, everything was fine. She even started looking relaxed as she laughed with Maggie and Deja, holding Cam on her lap until the food came.

I put my hand on her thigh under the table and she covered it with her own. While we ate, Alex and Colin regaled us with tales of what all the Westwood brothers and their families had been getting up to, regularly reducing the entire table into stitches of laughter. After the plates had been cleared, however, Mom turned her attention fully to Alicia, both women seemingly enjoying catching up until Mom finally mentioned the library.

“How are things going at work, sweetheart? I hope all this nonsense with Court hasn’t been causing you any trouble.”

Alicia froze, turning into a pillar of salt beside me. Her hand tightened in mine and the color drained from her cheeks so fast, my mother frowned. “Oh, darling. I’m sorry. I didn’t⁠—”

“No. It’s okay.” Alicia reached for her glass and took a sip of water. “I, uh. I don’t work there anymore.”

My heart dropped straight out of my ass. “What?”

She glanced at me, shrugging despite the tears I saw welling in her eyes. “I lost my job a few days ago.”

I blinked hard, my heart suddenly trying to claw its way out of my throat as disbelief ricocheted through me. All week long, I’d been with her. I’d asked her countless times if she was okay. I’d complained about midterms and told her what was going on in my classes. We’d sat down together every night for dinner and she’d been carrying this around while I’d been obsessing over whether she was angry with me because I wouldn’t talk to Court?

Holy fucking shit. Why didn’t she tell me?

Mom reached across the table and squeezed Alicia’s arm. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. I know it’s hard, but you’ll find something better.”

Alicia gave her a strained smile and nodded, but as Mom launched into a full-blown maternal pep talk, I barely heard a word. Alicia had loved that job. That library. Maybe she would find something better eventually, but she shouldn’t have to.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is my fault, isn’t it? My wife had lost her job because of my last name. Because of me.

While she hadn’t said it in so many words, the timing was too coincidental for that not to be what this had been about. Those articles had come out about our marriage, naming her as a Thayer and plastering her face all over the paper, and suddenly, she’d gotten fired.

I felt a cold sweat break out across my entire body when it dawned on me that I’d handed her this disaster. When I’d put that ring on her finger, I’d essentially branded her with a scarlet letter that would follow her around for the rest of her life. Which was exactly what my father had done. He’d branded us with that same letter and I’d printed it all over Alicia’s life. While I’d sworn I would never become him, here I was, the reason my wife had lost her job and frankly would probably lose her entire career.

Being married to me had made it all implode. Because let’s get serious. No one is going to hire her anytime soon. Not while she shares my last name.

Just like my father, I wasn’t a savior or a protector. Everything I touched turned to shit. I’d ruined this woman’s life because I’d wanted access to a trust fund, and sure, she’d gotten to keep her house, but at what cost?

Because right now, to me, the price seemed to have been not only her career, but her hopes and dreams too. Maybe even her future. And that? That price was just way too high to be acceptable.

CHAPTER 42

ALICIA