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Suddenly realizing that this was my shot, I got up and moved to the oversized leather seat next to hers. She had a book open in her lap, but she hadn’t turned a page since we’d taken off. When I dropped down beside her, she glanced up, giving me a soft smile before looking back down at the book.

My insides rebelled against the loss of eye contact, everything in me needing those pretty hazel eyes to look into mine when she told me what the actual fuck was going on. While I’d been busy with class all week, I’d tried to talk to her more times than I could count, but she just kept telling me she was fine.

Obviously, however, she was not fine. In fact, she was about as far away from fine as fine could be, but I didn’t know how to bridge the gap between us right now. It just felt so fucking wide, especially because I strongly suspected that she was putting this distance between us because of how I’d been acting about my dad.

Finally, when she just kept staring at that page like it held the answers to the mysteries of the universe, I broke. Alex’s private jet with the entire Thayer family aboard—those who still lived in Chicago, anyway—was not the ideal place for a private conversation, but I kept my voice down and reached for her hand.

“You’re not reading,” I murmured as I wound my fingers around hers. “Why?”

“I’m trying to,” she said lightly, finally glancing up at me again with a soft smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Neither did her teasing tone. “My husband just keeps insisting on talking to me while I’m doing it.”

“You’ve been on the same page since we took off.”

She shrugged. “I like this page.”

“It must be one hell of a page.” I peered over her shoulder, my heart pulsing when I realized it wasn’t even a whole page. It was the start of a new chapter, only one short paragraph sitting below a drawing of an elaborate map, a number, and the location where this part of the story would be set. “That’s, like, four lines, baby.”

“Yeah, but the map is interesting.”

I sighed and leaned back against the plush leather chair, my fingers still wound around hers, but I noticed she hadn’t adjusted her grip to wrap hers around mine in turn. “How do I make it up to you?”

A slight frown puckered her brow, but she lowered her gaze back down to the map. “I’m fine, Holden. There’s nothing to make up for.”

Obviously, there was, but maybe she’d tell me once we were alone. While I was keeping it as a surprise for her, I’d booked us into a hotel away from everyone else, a little boutique establishment in Tribeca where we could have some time to ourselves without twelve people appearing at our door every other minute.

We would have to have dinner with the family tonight, but I had plans for breakfast in bed tomorrow and a walk through the city in the evening after the baby shower if she wanted one. There would be no distractions. No studying or class, no Court, no Tasha, and hopefully, no press.

I’d been planning our weekend together for days, hoping that some time away from it all would help both of us to just breathe again. God knew, I needed it. Maybe she did too.

“You’re thinking so loudly, I can hear you,” she murmured. “What’s going on in that gigantic brain of yours?”

I brought our joined hands to my mouth and brushed a kiss against her knuckles. “You’ll see when we land. In the meantime, you could tell me what’s been going on in yours.”

“Holden.” She groaned, withdrawing her hand and dropping it in her lap instead. Dressed in soft, comfortable jeans and a pale pink sweater, her golden hair was loose. She looked so pure, so innocent, that it fucking killed me to know that I’d brought this heartache into her life. Whatever she was struggling with right now, it was because of me. “I told you, I’m fine.”

“You’re not, Alicia. You’ve barely spoken to me all week.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. You said maybe six words to me this morning before we left the house.”

She sighed. “I said good morning.”

“Exactly, that was two of the six.” I turned in the seat to look at her, burning to reach for her again, but I didn’t. “Why are you being weird?”

“You’re being weird too.”

“Yeah, but weird is my normal,” I said, exhaling a heavy breath through my nostrils. “Can we please just talk?”

When she looked at me again, I thought she might actually tell me, but instead, she reached across the space she’d put between us and took my hand again. “I’m okay. Really.”

I laced our fingers together, grateful she was at least touching me again but still not believing what she’d said. Ultimately though, I couldn’t exactly force it out of her at thirty thousand feet with my family on the same quiet, private jet, so I squeezed her hand and leaned back in my seat, closing my eyes and willing New York to appear faster.

It felt like it took several years to get there, but when we finally arrived at our hotel, we checked into a room overlooking the water. Floor-to-ceiling windows provided the kind of views that belonged on a postcard. Alicia immediately gravitated toward them, folding her arms as she drifted closer to the glass and stared out at the city.

I dropped our bags beside the bed and went to join her, hesitating for a second before I stepped up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close to my chest. “What do you think?” I asked quietly. “Do you like it?”

She rested her head against my shoulder. “It’s beautiful, but it must’ve cost a fortune. I thought we were all just going to stay with Ryan and Maggie.”