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“That’s disturbing,” Holden murmured behind me. “What was she thinking?”
“I heard that!” Maggie called happily, appearing from the doorway of a lounge off the hall we were in and grinning as she came over to hug me. “It’s not disturbing. It’s art.”
“It’s a cry for help.”
“Your entire being is a cry for help,” she retorted, smacking his arm. “Come say hi to everybody.”
He smiled, so different now that we were here than he had been in that hotel room this morning. It was nice, though, seeing him relaxed and a little more carefree with the people he loved.
After leading us toward their enormous back garden, Maggie disappeared and I paused on the deck, utterly astounded by the amount of people who were here. They were everywhere, family members I recognized, but so many I didn’t know.
“Holden!” a voice called from the shaded side of the deck and I turned with him, seeing a dark-haired man grinning like a loon and an extraordinarily beautiful, exotic-looking woman beside him.
Immediately, my brain connected the dots. Isaac and Jasmine.
Before we’d even moved, they were right in front of us, Isaac throwing his arms around his younger brother in a hug that looked like it might suffocate him. “Surprise!”
Holden groaned, but I could see the smile he was trying to fight and the joy lighting up his eyes as he returned his brother’s enthusiastic, back-thumping hug. “What the hell are you two doing here? No one told us Egypt was invited.”
Isaac laughed. “That’s because you’re the last one anyone tells anything to.”
To my utmost surprise, Holden joined in the laughter, smacking his brother’s back before letting him go. As they separated, Isaac turned to me with that massive, truly joyful grin still on his lips. “You must be Alicia. Welcome to the family.”
He tossed his arms around me next, drawing me in for an equally enthusiastic hug. So shocked that I couldn’t remember how to move my arms for a second, I caught Jasmine’s eye over Isaac’s shoulder and she chuckled. “Just make your peace with it now. He’s always been affectionate, but it’s even worse now that he’s been exposed to my culture. Our men wear their hearts of their sleeves. None of this broody, moody, bottling up business.”
As she said it, she waved directly at Holden. I laughed but he groaned. “Seriously? God, sometimes I forget how glad I am you live on the other side of the fucking world.”
Jasmine winked at me. “You see.”
Isaac finally released me and clapped Holden on the shoulder. “You know, when Colin told me you got married, I assumed it was a prank.”
“I’ve spoken to you on the phone, like, every other day since.” Holden glanced at me, his eyes softening when I laughed right along with them.
Isaac shrugged, those eyes shining with humor. “Yeah, but I didn’t know if I believed she was real.”
I watched the two of them together with genuine warmth flooding my chest. While I’d known Holden had called Isaac a few times about the coffee machine and the Halloween decorations, I hadn’t known they’d spoken quite as often as every other day. It was clear that these two were close, though.
Then again, Holden was like this with all of his brothers. Despite everything their family had gone through, or maybe because of it, they seemed to truly love each other. It was a dynamic I completely adored.
And I’m part of it now too. Sort of, anyway. Maybe one day, I really will be.
It occurred to me then that there were definite benefits to reap as a Thayer that had nothing to do with money. Family had always been important to me. I simply didn’t really have any to be close to.
If he and I manage to work this out, even if he doesn’t love me, maybe I can still have this and maybe that could even be enough. My heart gave a pang of disagreement, but I leaned into Holden again when he led me off the deck after Isaac and Jasmine finally left us.
The rest of the afternoon passed in much the same vein, with too much happening to fully immerse myself in the misery of unrequited love. I was introduced to so many people that it made my head spin.
Nash Pembroke, Maggie’s brother, approached us just as Isaac left. He was with several other Pembroke brothers, but I honestly couldn’t remember their names. There were far too many people. We played ridiculous games, ate our body weight in snacks, and I sat with Maggie while she opened so many gifts, she’d be able to stock a small department store.
Every time I felt myself getting lost in the crowd, however, I found Holden, his eyes always already on me. All those hard edges between us seemed to soften as the afternoon wore on. We hadn’t really made up at all, but I still loved the way he looked at me and I still wanted to reach for his hand whenever he was near.
So maybe there’s hope for us yet. Maybe.
When he slipped his fingers through mine every so often during the day, I squeezed them just to let him know I still wanted him there. It almost felt like somewhere along the line, we’d both decided to just give each other a little more grace.
Perhaps showing each other that, despite the accusations, the guilt, and the uncertainty, neither of us had given up. It meant a lot, knowing that maybe my spiraling thoughts last night hadn’t been quite accurate after all.
When we were finally on our way back to the hotel, we held hands in the back seat of the car, but neither of us said much. Holden opened my door for me when we arrived, his palm warm in the small of my back as we headed inside.