Page 1
Chapter One
Ash
“Ash, seriously, you have to come visit. The campus is incredible! You could still transfer, you know. Finish up your last two years at UCLA with me and then find a good master’s program down here. Get away from all that dreariness. No more clouds and rain and cold all the time. I mean, really, it’s sunny and seventy-five today. In November! Plus, I know Bri is just dying to see her favorite uncle again! Anyway, I should go. Call me! Miss you, love you, bye!”
The message played for the umpteenth time, the only sound in the quiet vehicle other than Ash’s occasional sniffles. He reached over to where his cell phone sat on the passenger seat, hit a button on the screen, and dropped the phone, barely taking his eyes off the road. The message started over. Again.
“Ash, seriously, you have to come visit . . .”
He took one hand off the steering wheel just long enough to wipe the fresh tears from his cheeks. It had been exactly twenty-three hours, thirty-seven minutes since he’d missed her call. And seventeen hours, eight minutes since he’d gotten the other call.
He hadn’t slept. He couldn’t. And he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to. He’d just hit the Grapevine and still had about an hour and a half to Los Angeles. And then—
“. . . Anyway, I should go. Call me! Miss you, love you, bye!”
His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, and he tried—really, he tried—to stop the sob building up in his chest. But he couldn’t; it came anyway. And with it, his heart seemed to rip in two. He gasped for air, unable to breathe, and more pain than he thought he’d ever felt in his life tore through him.
She was gone.
Forever gone.
Not coming back gone.
He’d never hear her voice again, except for on this damn voicemail. And he’d never get to see her beautiful face, smiling. Always smiling. He’d never hug her, never be hugged by her. He’d never get to hear her tease him, never see her eyes light up, never hear her laughter.
“Love ya, big brother!”
“Why do you insist on calling me that? We were born literally twelve minutes apart.”
“Because you’re . . .”
“What?”
His stomach knotted up, and pain erupted in his chest again. More this time, though. Worse.
Still gasping, he put his blinker on and took the next pull-off along the shoulder. Then he slammed to a stop, shifted into park, and lowered his head to rest against the top of the steering wheel. His breaths were coming much too fast and yet were too shallow, and he couldn’t stop himself from shaking. He screwed his eyes shut tight.
“Because you’re . . .”
“What?”
“It’ll sound silly.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“. . . you’re my protector. Always there, keeping me safe.”
Dammit.
There wasn’t anything he could have done. He knew that. But her voice replayed in his head, and he could see her comfortable smile, her bright blue eyes sparkling as she looked up at him. He could hear her light laugh, muffled as she dropped her chin to hide her hint of embarrassment. He could feel her warmth as he’d pulled her into a tight hug.
Some protector he was. Some big brother. He’d failed her. He’d failed both of them.
Ash blinked back the blurriness clouding his vision, though his eyes remained sore and swollen from crying, and he took both hands off the steering wheel to wipe his cheeks again. He didn’t have time for this right now. Shaina was waiting for him at the hospital. And Bri would be counting on him.
He swallowed hard, blinked again, and glanced over at his phone. It was just past noon. He needed to get there soon. No more stops, no more stalling. For Bri.
His hand felt oddly heavy and detached as he reached over and picked up his phone. Numbly, he navigated to Shaina’s last text and reread the message. She was at UCLA Mattel Children’s Hospital in the pediatric ICU with her parents and Bri, and he needed to get there soon. As soon as he could. So he could be there when the doctors cleared Bri to be discharged.
