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Cass (7:47 p.m.): That snowstorm was something else. We don’t usually get that here, as you can maybe imagine
Ash (7:47 p.m.): Educational studies. I plan to teach elementary school :)
Ash (7:48 p.m.): You could have fooled me. Looked to me like you knew exactly what you were doing, towing me out of that ditch
Cass responded with a thumbs-up react to Ash’s text about his major, and after a couple more minutes, another text came through.
Cass (7:50 p.m.): You can blame that on my dad. When he was teaching me to drive, he insisted I learn to be comfortable driving in the snow as well. He used to take me up to a ski resort near Mt. Shasta in the winter when it would snow or out toward Tahoe sometimes. Taught me a bunch of things - how to chain up, how to hook up a tow rope, how to handle hills
Cass (7:51 p.m.): When it does snow in town (which doesn’t happen that often), a few of us help out if we can
There it was—that kindness Ash had seen and felt from Cass. The man was selfless and caring, and it had nothing to do with anything other than that he was a good person.
He hesitated for half a second and then typed a response back.
Ash (7:53 p.m.): I should know how to drive in the snow. I grew up here in Seattle. It does snow here (along with the aforementioned rain, and then more rain)
Ash (7:53 p.m.): But I’ve never really been super comfortable with it. I tend to take the bus when the weather’s bad - let someone else deal with it ;)
Cass (7:54 p.m.): Fair enough :)
Cass (7:55 p.m.): Do you go to UW?
Ash (7:55 p.m.): Yeah. I’m halfway through my third year now
Cass (7:55 p.m.): Do you like it?
Cass (7:56 p.m.): Sorry for being nosy, but I applied there for the online MLIS program. Hoping to hear about admission next month. It’s my top choice
Ash (7:57 p.m.): MLIS? That’s library science, yeah?
Cass (7:57 p.m.): Yeah
Ash (7:57 p.m.): Sweet
Ash (7:58 p.m.): Yeah, I love it here. The campus is beautiful, and the program I’m in is fantastic. All of my professors have been great
Ash (7:59 p.m.): I have no idea what an online program would be like, but that’s cool that you’d have that kind of flexibility
From over in the crib, Bri shifted in her sleep and then let out the tiniest whimper. Ash’s stomach dropped, and he hit the power button to black out his phone, then sat up quietly and peered through the slats in the crib. She was still sleeping, her arms relaxed and her breathing soft and steady. His phone buzzed, but he ignored it this time, pushed the blanket off of himself, and climbed out of bed, careful to be as silent as possible.
He moved to the crib and then stood there for what had to be several minutes, barely breathing as he watched her sleep. And just as it had earlier when he’d been studying with Grant, his heart twisted with worry.
Shaina was here to babysit for him while he took his finals, and then he’d have time off from school to get Bri settled and in a routine. After that, though, when the next quarter started up in January, he’d have a whole new set of challenges to figure out.
Like how he’d possibly ever feel comfortable enough letting a total stranger take care of her. And how he’d afford it.
He’d been getting by with his grants and student loans, a strict budget, and full-time work over the summer, along with occasional help from Henry and Joanna. But there was no room anywhere in his budget for childcare costs. Not even close.
He almost wished his program had that kind of flexibility Cass’s would have—an online option for at least some of his classes—but that was unrealistic given his major and his career goals. Many of his classes involved participation in group projects and discussions that had to take place in person. And anyway, that was how he personally learned best. He’d been quite relieved when all of his professors had been understanding about him missing class the last few weeks, given his situation. But that didn’t mean he could rely on being able to miss class going forward.
He’d have to figure something out.
His phone buzzed again, and this time, Bri did react. She yawned and stretched and opened her eyes partway, and when she saw him, she gurgled and smiled and kicked her feet.
I should have been sleeping. That was his first thought. Well, after the rush of love that always hit him whenever he looked at her.
“Hey, sweet girl. Sorry to wake you. Go back to sleep, okay?” he said softly, and he reached down and set his hand on her chest, like Shaina had shown him that very first night back in Los Angeles. He started humming quietly, some weird mishmash version of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” that always somehow morphed into “You Are My Sunshine,” since Ash simply could not carry a tune. It worked anyway, thank goodness, and after only a couple of verses, her little eyes blinked slowly closed as she relaxed back into sleep.
