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He kept humming for a few more minutes, and when he was sure she was really out again, he carefully pulled his hand away and climbed back into bed. His phone sat face down on his pillow, and he picked it up, not surprised to see missed messages from his conversation with Cass.

Cass (8:00 p.m.): Good to hear you’ve had a great experience there! I’m really hoping I get accepted. The program looks perfect for what I need

Cass (8:05 p.m.): An online program is the only way I’ll be able to continue my education right now, actually. My mom had a stroke earlier this year, and I have to be home to help my dad take care of her

Ash read the last message twice, his heart hurting with a pain that was all too familiar now.

Ash (8:11 p.m.): That’s rough, I’m so sorry. It’s great that you can be there for her and your dad, though

Ash (8:12 p.m.): I hope you get accepted to the program at UW. When would you start?

No response came right away, and Ash was just tired enough that he set his phone down next to himself and closed his eyes. If it buzzed again, he didn’t hear it before he finally let himself drift off to sleep.

Ash (Monday, December 13, 2021 – 2:11 a.m.): Ah, sorry, I fell asleep

Ash (2:13 a.m.): Waiting for the acceptance letter has got to be the hardest part! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you :)

Ash (2:14 a.m.): I’ll be in the same boat as you this time next year, since I’ll be applying to grad school for my MIT. Assuming I get through finals this week, that is

Chapter Fourteen

Cass

Cass regretted saying yes to Joe’s Saturday morning trail run the moment his alarm went off at six. It had been a long, trying week with his dad pulling overtime at the power plant nearly every day and his mom struggling with persistent hip pain and worse-than-normal fatigue. He’d almost texted Joe to cancel, but then his dad of all people had convinced him not to—said it would be good for him to get out of the house and spend some time with a friend. His mom had agreed.

So, in the dark of the chilly winter morning, Cass dragged himself out of bed, took a short but hot shower to help himself wake up, and then got dressed in a pair of dark-gray joggers and a long-sleeve, dusk-blue tech shirt. He spent much too much time digging through his closet to find an old pair of running shoes, which he had to dust off, and then grabbed his beanie, wallet, phone, and keys and headed out the door at just after six thirty.

Joe lived in a small apartment complex north of town, and since his place was much closer to the trailhead than Cass’s, they’d agreed to meet at Joe’s and then drive over the rest of the way together. It had seemed like a good plan at the time, but when Joe climbed into Cass’s car not more than ten minutes later, sporting an enthusiastic smile that suggested he’d been up for hours already, Cass knew there was no way he’d be able to match Joe’s energy.

“So, I haven’t run on this trail yet,” Joe started as he fastened his seat belt, “but it’s supposed to be pretty good—wide and flat so we can run next to each other, and—” Joe stopped himself with what sounded like a nervous laugh. “Oh, boy, don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like you’d rather be anywhere else right now.”

Cass’s cheeks flushed with heat, and he grimaced and shook his head, shifting his car into drive. “Sorry, that’s very much not the case, I promise.”

He risked a glance over at Joe as he pulled away from the curb. The man’s brown eyes sparkled with both amusement and an eagerness that Cass had to admit was almost a bit infectious.

“If you’re still worried about the pace, I really was joking the other day,” Joe said. “I don’t mind at all if we walk most of the way or just jog slowly or even turn back without finishing the whole loop. I know you’re not a runner, and really, I mean, this was just an easy way for me to get to spend more time with you.”

The heat returned to Cass’s cheeks, and he huffed a quiet laugh of disbelief. “You’re too sweet, you know,” he said, pausing at the stop sign at the end of Joe’s street before continuing right and heading northwest on Lake Boulevard in the general direction of the river.

“Too sweet? Because I want to spend time with you?” Joe sounded genuinely confused.

Cass shook his head. “Well, uh, I mean—” He sighed, frowning. “Sorry. Um, the last man I went out with spent our entire date complaining about the food and talking about himself, and I’m pretty sure if we had gone running together, he’d have been annoyed with me if I hadn’t been able to keep up. So I guess I, um, appreciate . . . that you’re not like that?”

Cass grimaced at the awkwardness of his own words and the ugly truth that was his dating history, immediately wishing he could take back everything he’d just said. But Joe quickly jumped in to reassure him.

“Oh, yikes, no, I understand,” Joe said. “I mean, if you asked me to go to an art museum with you, I know you wouldn’t expect me to know as much as you do about who the artists were or the types of techniques they used or, uh, whatever it is art history majors know.” Joe laughed again, and it was looser and more relaxed this time. Cass glanced back over at him and was happy to see that Joe’s eager smile had returned. “I like that we have different interests,” Joe continued, shrugging, “and I appreciate that you’re willing to indulge me with this. You know, save me the trouble of having to plan a real, romantic date.”

Cass snorted a laugh and focused back on the road ahead of him. “Why do I have the feeling this is your idea of a ‘real, romantic date’?”

“I’m offended,” Joe said with mock indignation. “If it were a ‘real, romantic date,’ you’d know.”

“Would I?”

“Totally. I’d have brought flowers, for one.”

“Flowers?” Cass arched his eyebrows.

“Yep, flowers. And energy gels.”