Page 86
I’ll face Mav, the minute I figure out what to say.
Chapter 37
Maverick Maher
After Sky goes upstairs, I call Brant.
“Hey, how’d it go?” he asks excitedly.
“Not good. Terrible.” I rub the stubble that Sky loves so much. “It was a gong show, blown tire and yard sale all rolled into one.” Recapping our conversation, I exhale. “He’s upstairs with Maria. Hopefully, he’s coming back.”
“He owns his apartment; he’s not going to abandon it. Don’t be an idiot. This has nothing to do with you,” he says, his temper firing up, so I shut the hell up.
“I’m not a relationship expert. Never had a long term, but men aren’t that complicated. We get mad as a default when we’re hurt or afraid. Figure out what hurt him or what he’s afraid of.”
As I unpack his declaration, he allows me the silence to come to my conclusion. “Okay.” I concede he’s right.
Brant talks to me until Sky’s footsteps echo on the stairs. I’m in the kitchen, cleaning the evidence of his meal debacle. Shit is off the counter, and as long as he doesn’t open the island cupboards, it seems tidy. Burnt meatloaf has a particularly obnoxious smell.
“Forgive me?” Sky asks, as he takes a seat at the counter and hides his face in his arms.
“I’m not upset with you,” I declare, and reach across to take his hand.
“You should be. I didn’t plan on telling you. Ever. I dealt with it and moved on. Except it slams into me, and boom, I’m in the past. Retreating, going numb, and pushing everyone away because emotional detachment is easier.”
“You’ll tell me when you’re ready,” I say, infusing the statement with optimism despite my racing heart and doomsday projections.
Sky lifts his head, and his eyes are red and shimmering. “I came to New York certain of who I was and what I wanted. New York was gonna be my bitch. I found an apartment with a group of artist types and got a part in an off-Broadway production so fast that I skipped my interviews with a nightclub and a cruise line.”
If I could, I’d protect him and make the bad things go away because from his expression, this story is taking a nasty turn. Unable to stop, I sit next to him and drape an arm over his shoulder.
“I burned bridges before setting foot on them.” He rubs his forehead with his palm. “A victim of the saying that if it’s too good to be true, it is. My roommates stole most of my life savings, and the director of the show was an abuser.” Sky searches my eyes for understanding.
Words fail me, but I bring our foreheads together as if I can pour my love into him.
“If I said no, he could fire me or worse, ruin my career. I let him put his hands on me and told myself it was the price to pay for success. That it would only be one or two times and after he got what he wanted and gave me a leading role, it’d all be over.”
“What do you want to do about it?” I ask, shoving my rage into an impenetrable box.
“There’s nothing to be done. It’s over.” Sky rests his cheek on the cool island. “I got the part and two weeks later, I was fired and replaced by the understudy I found letting the director fuck him. That dancer has a few more years in prison for killing the director. I believe he did it in self-defense, but the prosecutor argued excessive force and won. The director is gone and got what he deserves.”
“But your mental health suffered.” I massage his scalp, focusing on his well-being and shoving down my turmoil.
“Oh, that old thing.” Sky tries for a joke, but it falls flat. He tells me about what he went through and the help he received. “I’m so happy with you it scares me. I expect something brutal to happen, and I’m out here manifesting it.” He shrugs. “Those feelings of being powerless and a pawn were buried deep. I lashed out at you, and I don’t ever want to do that again. I’ve talked to my therapist and try not to misplace my anger, but it’s hard to get revenge on a dead guy.” He raises his torso, and I drag him onto my lap to curl around him in protection mode.
“Fury without an outlet sucks.” I kiss his hair and tug him closer to fend off my anger.
“Give me the tea of who’s on your list?” His lips graze my neck as he speaks.
“There are two people, possibly three, I’d love to unleash the kraken on, but nothing will make anything better.” The truth loosens my chest, and his arms wrap around me.
“Yeah? I’m not on that list?”
“No, Angel. But my mom, possibly with my dad’s help, kept us apart for years. She’s been on her best behavior lately, and her press conference made Finn proud. Needless to say, her lies are hard to forgive. She destroyed the letter you wrote me.”
“I’m glad.” Sky winces. “I could paraphrase it for you, but I was heartbroken and bitchy. I said hateful things I didn’t mean, so maybe she did us both a favor by destroying it.” He covers my mouth when I try to argue. “Imagine me back then, spewing every insult at you to inflict as much pain on you as I felt. Believe me, you’d hate me, and we wouldn’t be together now.”
Sky bats his long lashes, exposing the hurt in his soul. “I’d go through it again as long as we are together now and in the future.” My imagination can supply the resentment deep in my bones if I’d read his letter.
