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Chapter Thirty-Four
Aedre
“Aedre, you have a visitor.”
My heart leaps until I see Kipp in the doorframe.
“You terrified me. For a moment, I thought . . .”
He sits down on the edge of my bed.
“You thought I was d’Abella?”
Sitting up, I shove the doll underneath my pillow. But not quickly enough.
“I see her under there.”
Only Kipp could force a smile from me right now.
“Whatever do you mean?”
He’s much too quick. Before I can shove him away, Kipp reaches over and snatches the yarn doll out from under the pillow.
“Ah, let me see if I can remember.”
He points to her one red arm. “A reminder of the woman’s flow and the strength she possesses.”
Kipp turns the doll Amma gave me upside down by its foot, its orange leg on display.
“The Garra scorn the church’s belief that women are polluted by their desire for sex and are drawn to men as a result of this pollution. Instead, they revel in the belief that we are sexual beings by design, certainly nothing to be ashamed of. And this pink arm is for pleasure, derived from your own hand or another.”
I groan and beg him to stop, which only seems to encourage him.
“The yellow leg, a reminder the woman is not an evil temptress or a virginal goddess but can be everything in between, if she so chooses.”
He pokes the middle of my yarn Kona directly in the center of the depiction of a dove. “And this, the most important symbol of all. Defiance of the belief that a man and woman cannot find romantic love in marriage.”
“Imagine,” I scoff, unable to resist, “convening a court to determine such a thing.”
Though this “court” ruled in the favor of marital love nearly one hundred years earlier, the vestiges of such a belief are obviously alive and well outside Murwood End.
“You forget in many parts of Meria nobles attempt to retain, or grow, their lands and influence through marriage. Marriage for love is simply not possible for them. And so they rail against the idea of it in every way possible.”
“You tell me what I know already, Kipp.” I snatch the doll from him, swatting him on the shoulder with my other hand. “Cease your laughing. The Kona is sacred, as well you know.”
“And you need no reminders of her lessons. So why does she hide under your pillow?”
I put her back there knowing she’s not completely out of his reach.
“She reminds me of Amma.”
Kipp sobers immediately. But before he can apologize, I confess, “And I needed a distraction. So I cleaned out the house today and found her among my belongings.”
“So?” I ask, unable to wait any longer, the stricken look on his face making me want to change topics. I did not intend to make him feel poorly.
“He believes you are still at Nord. And will not be coming to find you.”
Though it is precisely what I asked of him, I feel a pang of disappointment in my chest.
