Page 69
“Sam?” I knock on the door and push it open gently. He looks up from the bed. He’s sitting with his head in his hands, shoulders shaking.
When I kneel in front of him, he looks up.
His eyes are swimming with tears. He slips his hand into mine and grips it so tightly it almost hurts. When I wince, he stops.
“Are you really back?” he asks, his breath shaking in his chest, frowning like I might be a hallucination.
“I’m back.” I smile at him and kiss the bridge of his nose. “Are you all right?” I stroke his face. But he’s not all right. I can feel it.
He shakes his head. “I don’t know how to shift this feeling.” He presses his palm into his chest. “It’s been growing ever since—”
“You found out it was Nico instead of you who’s linked to the Prophecy?” I sit on the bed next to him and pull him into my arms so his head is resting on my shoulder.
He nods, nuzzling into me and feeling more wolf like than ever.
“I keep trying to tell myself it’s stupid. Ridiculous. I know you love me but I can’t help feeling like…” He sniffs as a sob wracks his chest. “Like I have nothing.”
“Sam.” I tilt his head so he’s looking at me. “You have everything. You have people who love you, and Luther thinks you’re good enough to train up. Which, trust me, is not a mean feat. But perhaps—” My breath hitches. I don’t know how Sam will take it if I tell him Tanner’s shared information with me. “Perhaps it’s more than that.”
He frowns, his beautiful forehead furrowing.
“You spent years locked away in that club. You went to literal hell and back. Your entire identity was thrown into question not once but twice within a few weeks of each other. You found your brother, you saw your mom…” I stop because Sam looks like he might crack open right here in front of me.
“But everyone else has been through shit too, Nova. Why should mine be any worse?”
“It’s not a case of worse or better. Kole had help with his addiction. Mack, Tanner, Luther – they all learned to deal with their past in their own way. So, you need to give yourself time to do the same. And maybe you need to talk to someone. Someone who isn’t one of us.”
Sam sniffs again and shakes his head. “A shrink?”
“A magickal shrink.” I try to laugh. “I mean they must exist, right?”
He tries to smile but it doesn’t meet his eyes. “Right now,” he says, “the only thing that makes me feel normal is being with you. Close to you.” He looks up and reaches out to trace a slow finger across my collar bone. “Inside you.”
I sigh a little, my skin fluttering with the contact.
I have no idea if it’s a good idea to make love to Sam or not. Perhaps I should say no and make him see he needs to ask for real help.
But right now, he can’t. Can he? Right now, we’re stuck in England with no idea how or when we’re going to be able to go home and get back to normal because, once again, everything is in danger.
“I’m not really…” I pause, gesturing to my dirty clothes and the dried blood on my skin.
“I don’t care. I just need to be inside you, Nova.”
I meet his eyes, and heat pools in my belly. “Then be inside me,” I whisper, unfastening his jeans.
Suddenly, in a fervor I haven’t witnessed before, Sam attacks my mouth with his. He kisses me hard and fast, but then something changes.
As if he wants to take his time, block out the world, and console himself with my body, he undresses me slowly. Then he makes me lie back on the bed, and strokes every inch of me.
He doesn’t seem to care that I’m covered in wounds and debris from the tunnels. He doesn’t see the remnants of my own blood that are caked onto my skin. His hands and his tongue take it in turns to work me until I start to spark.
I could control them, but I don’t want to.
I want him to see what he does to me.
He caresses my breasts, kisses the space between them, then my stomach, then turns me over and kisses my back, my legs, even my feet.
By the time he reaches the apex of my thighs, I am wet and ready for him to fuck me. But he doesn’t. Instead, he spends the longest time playing with me. Testing different movements with his tongue, and rhythms with his fingers. He slides two inside me, then three, then spears me with his tongue instead while his thumb applies pressure to my clit.
