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Chloe joins us, holding up her phone. I can’t see the video, but the audio is loud, replaying our conversation by the lockers.
The part where I said I was just getting close to Theo to betray him at the end.
Rarely do I ever curse. My mom always said it was lazy, and if you couldn’t use it in an interesting-enough sentence, you should save it. But the only thing I can think to say in my anger and guilt and nerves is “You’re both such bitches.”
“And you’re a liar.” She presses her finger on my chest. “You lied to me,” she whispers, “and you’ve been lying to Theo all this time,” she says louder. “At least I’m honest about who I am. But honest isn’t something you can describe yourself as, is it, Violet?”
That’s back-to-back strikes against me. This battle between us is finished. Rachel’s won completely. I can’t even figure out what to say, anything to say. Not to her, to wipe the smile off her perfectly lined lips, and not to Theo, who can’t even look at me.
“Speechless?” Rachel laughs. “Come on, Chloe, let’s give the couple privacy. Breakups are hard.” Rachel taps a finger under my jaw. “Chin up, Violet. I’m sure this won’t be your last breakup.”
My hands fist at my sides as they leave.
When the door shuts, Theo clears his throat. He slings his backpack on and begins walking toward the door.
I grab his arm. “Wait.”
His gaze travels to where I grip his blazer. “There is nothing to talk about.”
“Yes, there is.”
That makes him look at me, and I almost wish it didn’t. There’s no warmth in his gaze, not friendly or romantic or anything of the sort. There’s not even anger. It’s this look of pure blankness, like I don’t even matter enough to warrant any response from him.
“I saw the video; there’s no miscommunication happening here. No explanation. You agreed to sabotage my case.” His eyes are cold, but his voice is hot. “I told you how much basketball meant to me, and you looked me in my eyes and said you’d be on my side. You lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie. Not the whole time.” Not after a while.
He shakes my hand away. “That’s another lie. I didn’t realize how good you were at it.”
“Please just listen to me,” I say, not even embarrassed by how my voice gets raised.
“No, I don’t want to.” He steps away when I try to reach for him again. “How am I supposed to know if you’re telling the truth? I believed you all this time. Now I don’t want to have to sort through every sentence you say and wonder if it’s a lie or not.”
“If you would just let me explain—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” he snaps, heading for the door. “Just leave me alone.”
Embarrassment and fear and guilt lodge themselves into my chest, and somehow the alchemy of it all turns to this awful anger. “It’s not like you’re entirely innocent here.”
His eyes widen with hurt and anger. “Are you really trying to spin this on me?”
“I told them no when they first approached me,” I half yell, half explain. “I was going to mind my own business, and then you blackmailed me. Just like them, you came to me to use me, too. I thought it was only right to do the same back.”
“You’re comparing me to them?” He looks so hurt I could cry.
But desperation clouds my senses. “Isn’t that right?” I say. “You were going to get me to represent you no matter what. Now that you realize you can’t get what you want from me, you’re unhappy.”
He steps back and nods. “Wow, Lopez, is this what you really think of me?”
I’m in too deep. I tap into the feelings I had when this whole thing started, and suddenly, the guilt clears from my chest as soon as it forms. “Besides, they offered me money, and I took it. If I went against them, they’d go to the dean. I couldn’t risk my scholarship.”
“But you’d risk mine?” Theo says. “What about me? What about my future?”
“That’s not my problem!”
My shout echoes around us, and it rattles my heart in my chest. We’re both breathing heavy, and my nails dig into my flesh as I try to rally logic, calm, but only find this need to defend myself, to put distance between us so the guilt doesn’t dig as deep into my side.
“I can’t—God, Lopez, I can’t even talk to you right now.”
