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“Maybe.” I nod. “Maybe not.”

She looks up at me, devastation pouring from her eyes, and I have to work hard to not show pity.

My sweet, big-hearted, rose-colored-glasses-wearing girl who, despite every opportunity to cut off a relationship with her mom, still chooses to hold out hope. She should be the cynical one, the one who assumes the worst, and yet she doesn’t.

Felicity clings to her hope like a little girl with a security blanket, and even if I want her to let her mom go, I don’t want her to lose that sense of hope that only she could have.

“Regardless,” I continue, “us staying out here and potentially getting electrocuted won’t speed anything up, will it?”

There’s a long moment of silence before she shakes her head. “No,” I say for her. “It won’t. So let me take my girlfriend into my house, warm her up, and we will wait in my room. You always liked watching storms up there. We can see the lightning striking the mountain without getting struck by it.”

I watch Felicity’s side profile, the dark sky lit only in flashes by the lightning. I wonder if she has any clue. If she knows that the sky in all its glory is jealous of her face. That the stars resent the constellations of freckles that dance from her cheeks down to her neck and shoulders and arms. Even the sun hiding behind the thick clouds marvels at the bright light of her smile.

She waits for so long before answering that I’m inches away from pulling her in myself, but then Felicity stands, holding on to my shirt, and lets me wrap my arms around her, bringing her to her feet.

“No one will think any less of you no matter which way it goes tonight, okay? Remember, just me and you, all right?”

Felicity finally takes her eyes off the gate and sets them back on me. “Okay.”

Chapter Forty Felicity

The storm rattles the windows in Knox’s bedroom—a low, constant drum that fills every corner of the room. His blinds are open, rain streaking down the glass in steady rivulets, and I imagine him watching Riley and I pull into the driveway earlier today, running down to greet me with an umbrella.

Lightning flashes white against the mountains in the distance, wind pushes against the walls, and even as I’m sitting on his bed, I still keep glancing outside for her.

On the edge of Knox’s bed, feet tucked under me and a blanket draped across my shoulders, I go from staring outside to staring at the floor. The quiet from Knox is heavy and charged. He’s trying not to pace from worry, and I can’t blame him.

I know I seem like I’m insane. I know that, deep down, he wants to tell me he’s right. And yet even now, after however long we’ve been in here, I can’t get to the point of accepting she’s not coming.

My eyes glance up at Knox, and he’s trying to pretend that he’s not staring at me, bottom lip stuck between his teeth.

“You’re thinking,” I say, voice a soft break in the hum of rain and distant conversations downstairs.

“I’m thinking.” He nods. “About a lot.”

“About how you were right, huh?” I give a self-deprecating huff of a laugh, but his frown only deepens.

“Felicity, I would never throw something like that in your face. You have to know that.”

I shrug. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

Even now, as the hope still sits in my chest, I could understand him bringing it up. Maybe I need to hear it. Maybe it would be the very thing to yank me out of this…trance? Delusional mindset?

“Even if you wouldn’t blame me, I would. No one should throw something like that in your face, and if they do, they’re not your friends.” Knox shakes his head. “I…know you’re still holding out hope for this, and I don’t want to discourage it. I just want you back on Earth with me.”

“I think I am now.” Or I’m not as shocked, anyway.

“You scared me out there.” He gets up from his chair and sits beside me on the edge of the bed. “I thought you were going to get hurt.”

I did get hurt.

“Sorry.”

“I’m not looking for apologies, I…I just want you to know…I don’t know.”

I look up and he’s closer than I realized, only a few inches from me, eyes bouncing between mine. “What?” I ask. “What do you want me to know?”

“That…even if she doesn’t come today, even if she never comes back at all, it’s got nothing to do with you or your worth or…how lovely of a girl you are. Everyone here, everyone that has ever met you, actually, has fallen in love with you over and over again. Myself included.” He laughs, watery. “I’m the president of your fan club, okay?” That makes me laugh a little as he continues. “I don’t want you to lose yourself in someone who never deserved you in the first place, okay?”